


Wrong Number

by roy_writes



Category: Haikyuu!!, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Black Market Organ Dealers, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, But nobody takes the drugs, Everyone Is Gay, Existential Crisis, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Fanfiction, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Light Angst, M/M, Memes, Mentioned Black Market Organ Dealers, Multi, Mystic Messenger References, Nishinoya Yuu & Tanaka Ryuunosuke are Bros, No Smut, Nonbinary Haruhi, Not Beta Read, Noya's going through a bad time, Ooops, Protective Kuroo Tetsurou, References to Drugs, Sad Nishinoya Yuu, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Some Plot, Suicidal Thoughts, Team Parents Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Texting, Tumblr Memes, Victor Nikiforov is Extra, Yuri Plisetsky's Nickname Is Yurio, and all these tags are for him, and so is tsuki, but he'll be okay, but he'll feel better, eventually, its a meme, its bc i'm projecting me onto them, noya is in a constant existential crisis, poor baby, the angst might last a few chapters, with his mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:49:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25283416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roy_writes/pseuds/roy_writes
Summary: I wanted to make a group chat fic for the Haikyuu characters, and somehow linked in other fandoms. Some parts are in a group chat and others are written out. There's not really a plot, this is just a crackfic for fun.I don't really have an update scheduale because this is for fun! I might add in some Food Wars characters at a later date!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Fujioka Haruhi/Suoh Tamaki, Haiba Alisa & Tanaka Saeko, Haiba Lev & Victor Nikiforov, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Kinoshita Hisashi/Narita Kazuhito, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin, Tanaka Saeko/Tsukishima Akiteru, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 60
Kudos: 148





	1. Tangerine Trio

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Oikawa Tooru’s group Chat That Went Down in Flames](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22249744) by [Petersolacenovak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petersolacenovak/pseuds/Petersolacenovak). 
  * Inspired by [Regrets™](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163207) by [Powerhh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Powerhh/pseuds/Powerhh). 



> What if 'It's Raining Men' and 'Let The Bodies Hit The Floor' are about the same event from different perspectives?

tangerineboii started a chat with 2 people.

tangerineboii: Daichi, Suga, if 1 of u is online rn can u tell me what time we're leaving 4 tokyo tonight. thnks.

Castor: i think you got the wrong numbers? My name is Hikaru.

Pollux: yea, i'm kaoru. sorry. 

tangerineboii: omg!!!! i'm so sorry 4 bothering u 2! i must have saved their numbers wrongly in my phone! 

Pollux: it's ok! whats ur name?

tangerineboii: hinata. my name is hinata. Can u tell me more abt u 2? u seem 2 know each other.

Castor: we r the Hitachiin twins. we go to Ouran Academy. 1st years and a part of the Host Club.

tangerineboii: cool! i go 2 Karasuno! I play volleyball! I was trying to message the Captain and Co-Captain, Daichi and Suga, but I guess I got their numbers wrong. . . i think it's kinda funny that i accidentally texted 2 people who knew each other tho. 

Pollux: you said smt abt Tokyo???

tangerineboii: yea. we r going to Tokyo for a prractice camp with some strong Tokyo teams, but i cant remembr what time we leave. 

Castor: can i ask abt ur username??? why did you choose tangerineboii??

tangerineboii: bc my hair is bright orange, but i didnt like orangeboii.

Pollux: our hair is orange!!!!

tangerineboii: that's so cool!!

Castor: we're the Tangerine Trio!

tangerineboii: yesssssssss!!! can i ask about ur usernames as Castor and Pollux?

Castor: u know abt the zodiac signs?

tangerineboii: yeah

Pollux: our sign is gemini (the twins ironically) and the constellation gemini has twin stars. Castor and Pollux.

tangerineboii: wow!!! thats cool!!! also, your names sound really familiar. Hikaru and Kaoru. i feel like ive heard them b4. 

Castor: our fam is kinda rich

Pollux: our mom has a design company!!! 

tangerineboii: my friend Yachi's mom runs a design company!!! Thats so cool!!!

Pollux: wait. Yachi Hitoka??? u know her???

tangerineboii: yea??? she's the manager in training for the vbc. how do you know her???

Castor: her mom's company has a contract with our mom's company, and as children when her mom came over for meetings we'd play together!

tangerineboii: !!! someone is messaging me, i gtg

Castor: bye Hinata! Nice 2 meet u!

Pollux: hope we meet again but irl!!

MaybeJesus has started a chat with tangerineboii.

MaybeJesus: hinata, where are you? We leave in an hour!

tangerineboii: Asahi, sorry. i forgot the time and accidnetally messaged the wrong numbers. i guess i saved Daichi and Suga's numbers wrong. 

MaybeJesus: do you need someone to come get you? Takeda or Coach can drive to get you?

tangerineboii: no. I'll leave now! b there soon. 

MaybeJesus: i'll let everyone know!

///////////////////

Suga and Daichi were freaking out when Hinata arrived at the school. 

"Hinata! Asahi told us you got the wrong numbers for us! Are you okay??? Did you tell them anything about you?"

Hinata thought for a moment. "I told them my name, where I go to school, and that I was going to Tokyo."

There was a brief moment of silence. 

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"Ummmm. . .yeah. That's my bad." Hinata sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and looked down. "But I mean, it's not like i accidentally messaged a serial killer or two, right? It's fine!"

The team exploded into a match of yelling and insulting Hinata, which led to a very confused and concerned Takeda and Ukai running out of the gym to see what was going on with the team.

"Woah, what happened? Why is everybody acting like their about to murder Hinata? Why is Suga currently attempting to murder Hinata?" Takeda was freaking out and Coach Ukai was helping Daichi pull Suga off Hinata.

"Nothing much happened." Ennoshita deadpanned. "Hinata messaged the wrong numbers, instead of Daichi and Suga, and he told them his name, his school, and that he was going to Tokyo."

"HE DID WHAT?" Ukai screamed and turned around to look at Hinata before going into a long rant about why it was bad. Suga escaped Coach Ukai and casually went back to trying to murder him.

"They told me their names and their school. The Tokyo mention was an accident."

Suga paused for a moment. "What did they say their names were? What was their school?"

"They said they were first years at Ouran Academy and their names were Hikaru and Kaoru."

Yachi's head went up. "Were they twins?"

"Umm. . .yeah. How did you know?"

"Their last name, was it Hitachiin?"

Hinata pulled out his phone and checked the messages. "Yes. Hikaru and Kaoru, the Hitachiin twins."

"I know them. Their family has a design company that has a contract with my mom's design company. I'd play with them at their house when I was younger all the time."

Suga stopped trying to murder Hinata. "So, we're okay?"

Yachi nodded. "Yep. There's no need to worry about any of it."

"Alright then, now that that's taken care of, everybody on the bus! We're 15 minutes behind schedule!" Takeda broke the brief silence and everybody began to move back onto the bus.

////////////////////

Castor: HINATA! what school is your vb camp at?

tangerineboii: Nekoma. Y? 

Pollux: well, we kinda mentioned that we made a friend and Tamaki didnt believe us so we decided we'd come meet u n persom!

tangerineboii: Tamaki?

Castor: overdramatic, obnoxious, leader of the Host Club. 

Pollux: obv in love with Haruhi but too dumb and dense to notice it.

tangerineboii: will it only b u 2 coming???

Castor: no, it'll prob b the entire club.

Pollux: me, you, Haruhi, Honey, Mori, Tamaki, Nekozawa, Kyouya. Thats it.

tangerineboii: do u want me 2 tell the coaches?

Castor: no. we'll drop in and surprise evrybody

tangerineboii: when do u think youll b coming?

Pollux: about 3 days. that'll b day 4 of ur camp. We'll b able 2 see Yachi again!

Castor: YES!!! we havent seen Yachi in forever :(

Pollux: see u n a couple days, Hinata!

Castor: dont tell anyone. it's a surprise. we'll delete all the messages so you dont get in trouble. 

tangerineboii: it'll b nice 2 meet u both irl

Castor: byeeeeeee

Pollux: see u soon, Hinata. The Tangerine Trio will soon b together!


	2. Happy Birthday, Oiks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Oikawa's birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If people can be legally blind, does that mean people with glasses are illegally blind?

plantboii: greetings

tangerineboii: hello!!!

oikiwi: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

kags: cool

iwa: nobody cares Shittykawa. Shut up.

oikiwi: IWA-CHAN!!!!!

tangerineboii: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREAT KING!!!

oikiwi: thanks chibi-chan :)

plantboii: happy birthday, Oikawa. I wish you had come to Shiratorizawa so we could celebrate your birthday as friends.

oikiwi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

iwa: shut up crappykawa. 

oikiwi: WHY DID YOU JUST SLAP ME, MEAN IWA-CHAN???

iwa: if you had shut up when i said too, i wouldnt have slapped you. 

kags: am i the only one finding this entertaining? 

iwa: no. i think it's hilarious.

chickentendo: are we just going to ignore how Wakatoshi started this chat with 'greetings'? 

kags: yep

liberBRO: hinata, kageyama, is 1 of u @ school rn?

tangerineboii: we r n the gym rn. Y?

liberBRO: can u come 2 class 2-3 please. i need help and tanaka is being annoying.

tangerineboii: we'll b there. what happened?

disaster™: noya, let me tell them.

liberBRO: no

disaster™: i wanted to know the smallest space noya eould fit n and i dared him 2 try getting in the trashcan (it was empty) but now he's stuck in the trashcan. :)

liberBRO: enjoy your last momwnts of life b4 i murder u, tanaka.

disaster™: what r u going 2 do? ur n a trashcan?

liberBRO: i'll message the person you like and tell them that u like them :)

tangerineboii: WHO DOES TANAKA LIKE????

disaster™: u wouldn't

liberBRO: tanaka lijdhsjxhsbskshdvdkd jdhdjsisb

kags: r u ok?

liberBRO: hdhdhvddhskdnbcjckdjdbdjdi

plantboii: it's been 5 minutes. Are you guys okay?

kags: we had 2 stop their fight and get noya out of the trash. we r good rn

oikiwi: hey, i found a weird little cartoon on youtube. i wanna watch it.

iwa: what is the cartoon called?

oikiwi: llamas with hats

chickentendo: YES!!! CARL IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL!!!

oikiwi: u know abt llamas with hats? 

chickentendo: i love that series!!! 

plantboii: what is llamas with hats about?

chickentendo: 2 llamas, carl + paul, who r friends and probably gay 4 each other. carl is a dangerous sociopath and does stuff and paul is tired of carl doing stuff.

oikiwi: 'friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together.' Iconic.

chickentendo: that's what forgiveness sounds like. screaming and then silence.

plantboii: i am concerned about your mental health.

chickentendo: don't b. we're good.

oikiwi: caaarlllll.

chickentendo: that kills people caarll.

oikiwi: whats ur favorite episode?

chickentendo: 1. it's iconic. 

oikiwi: whats ur fav line in that episode?

chickentendo: my stomach was making the rumblies that only hands would satisfy

iwa: i hate this already

oikiwi: iwa, we should watch this series with the team. :)

iwa: no

oikiwi: it's my bday. 

iwa: it's about 2 b ur death day.

oikiwi: i won't watch it with the team.

iwa: i'm glad we agree.

kags: iwazumi seems scary.

oikiwi: iwa is scary. 

tangerineboii: iwazumi is nice. what r u talking abt oikawa?

oikawa: that niceness is fake. dont believe in it.

MamaSugar: no, it's just illegal to be mean to Hinata.

kags: Suga??? how long have u been there. 

MamaSugar: since about the noya and tanaka incident. what happened to them?

tangerineboii: they disappeared. 

MamaSugar: i hope tanaka doesnt kill noya. we need a libero.

disaster™: what abt me?

MamaSugar: u r a great player, but we could also sub in Ennoshita, Kinoshita, or Narita for u. 

disaster™: r00d. Y not noya?

MamaSugar: noya is the only libero we have. We need him. 

disaster™: wooooooooooooooooow. 

MamaSugar: you r still a good player, but we have 3 others on the bench who play the same position as u. 

disaster™: thats a valid point.

Oikiwi: has everybody forgotten abt my bday???

kags: yeah

iwa: yes

MamaSugar: happy birthday. yes.

plantboii: yes

chickentendo: y

liberBRO: yea

tangerineboii: perhaps

Oikiwi: all of u r mean.

iwa: thanks. that warms my cold dead heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can always talk to me on my Tumblr roy-writes!


	3. Russian Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor Nikiforov is extra™ and he's related to Lev and Alisa :)  
> the Haiba siblings have my heart <3
> 
> Timelines? What are those????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How can icecream be birthday cake flavoured if birthday cakes can come in any flavour?

lion: YUURI! VICTOR! YURIO!

yurio: dont call me yurio. my name is yuri.

eros: hello Lev. You're excited!

HistoryMaker: what's up with my favorite cousins?

RussianBeauty: Lev is excited bc he gets to see his friends from Miyagi at training camp

eros: thats amazing, Lev!

yurio: people i know have friends?

eros: yurio, we talked about this. . .

yurio: DON'T CALL ME YURIO!!!!!

HistoryMaker: can you tell me about your friends in Miyagi?

lion: well, the one i get along with the most is Hinata Shouyou! He has bright orange hair and he's so short! But he can run and jump really fast! And his quick attack with Kageyama is amazing! The last training camp Hinata and Kageyama came late with Tanaka's sister bc they had 2 stay at school for failing a final exam, but this time bc its summer break, they'll be here for the entire 2 weeks!

eros: your 2 week camp? isnt that the same two weeks we'll be visiting? Maybe we can meet your friends on all the teams?

HistoryMaker: i like meeting Lev's friends. :)

yurio: u r a dumbass, Victor. 

HistoryMaker: thank

yurio: IT WASN'T A FUCKING COMPLEMENT!

eros: lev, tell me more about your friends.

lion: there's 2 people on their team, the ace, Asahi, and a new 1st year manager, and i think both of them are more anxious than Yuuri.

HistoryMaker: MORE ANXIOUS THAN MY YUURI??? 

lion: yea. and there's a tall middle blocker, Tsukishima, his attitude is bad.

eros: how bad?

lion: worse than Yurio

HistoryMaker: THERE'S SOMEBODY MIRE SALTY THAN YURIO IN THIS WORLD??????

yurio: i want to meet this Tsukishima kid. 

lion: idk how he's so salty tho. he's always around Hinata who is the literal embodiment of the sun and all good things.

lion: their team, Karasuno, used to be a power house.

yurio: the mitochandria is the powerhouse of the cell.

lion: they even went to nationals once, but then they fell down from their glory. they used to be called "the winless crows" but they r making a comeback this year.

eros: that's cool!

lion: yeah, both our teams are aiming to play each other at spring nationals to have the ultimate trashcan showdown. Cats v Crows.

yurio: r we allowed to meet with you @ ur camp? I want to meet this Tsukishima kid. 

yurio: i need 2 know if he is more salty than me.

HistoryMaker: YURIO WANTS TO MEET SOMEONE??? WTF IS HAPPENING??? 

yurio: i'm about to kill you with my murder shoes.

eros: they're ice skates

yurio: murder shoes. the blades are sharp enough to slit someone's throat or stab them. i can kill people while i practice. they b murder shoes.

eros: i give up

yurio: good

RussianBeauty: i'm still here

lion: me too

RussianBeauty: aren't u supposed to be at practice, Lev?

lion: something happened and i'm excused.

RussianBeauty: you called Yaku short and you r now hiding bc he's trying 2 kill u

lion: yep

eros: lev, r u ok?

HistoryMaker: rip lev. he angered the short people

yurio: don't worry, lev. I'll make ur FUNeral great :)

eros: YURIO!

RussianBeauty: good luck, Lev. 

lion: thanks guys, yurio, make it great.

yurio: your casket will b closed, but it'll b opened at the end to reveal ur not n there. A glitter bomb will explode from inside the casket and your body will be tied to a fan and spun around in the glitter as i blast 'Thnks Fr Th Mmrs' by Fall Out Boy

RussianBeauty: no u wont

eros: try again, yurio

HistoryMaker: will it b 1 giant glitter bomb or many glitter bombs???

RussianBeauty: THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT, VICTOR?????

eros: victor. . . 

yurio: ur got a point. but glitter may not be the best thing. it'll never leave that room and other with FUNerals might not appreciate the glitter bc they have no sense of style or humour.

eros: thats not the problem

lion: what if you played "Dead" by MCR

yurio: thats a good song. 

RussianBeauty: if you dont shut up i'll bring Yaku into the chat, yurio i'll take your skates until i remeber i took them and return them to you, and Victor you'll b grounded from Yuri. i'll stay with Yuri and you'll stay here with Lev.

lion: shutting up

yurio: i'm sorry.

HistoryMaker: T-T i'm sorry. u r scary. please don't take Yuri away.

eros: please do it. i need a break.

HistoryMaker: yuuuuuuuriiiiiiiii :(

RussianBeauty: u you're always welcome here, yuri. 

HistoryMaker: :)

RussianBeauty: not you, Victor. Yuri can come here to take a break.

HistoryMaker: :(

eros: :)

yurio: lol

HistoryMaker: T-T

lion: yaku is right outside the door.

yurio: where r u hiding?

lion: a hidden room i found that i didnt know existed

yurio: nice

RussianBeauty: good luck, Lev

eros: if Lev dies, do i get his room as my guest room at your house?

RussianBeauty: yeah

lion: MEAN

yurio: this is entertaining.

HistoryMaker: does this Yaku like skating?

lion: that's what ur worried abt?

HistoryMaker: would he stop murdering u if i called him?

lion: idk. the only sport we talk abt is volleyball.

HistoryMaker: welp. i tried.

lion: gshdudishdhdisjnsjdjfjfndnsjxjs

eros: lev?

RussianBeauty: did u drop ur phone?

yurio: rip

HistoryMaker: i miss you

lion: this is yaku. i found lev's phone. Lev is now practicing his recieves. also idk who u people r, except Alisa, but yes, i do like to watch skating. bye bye

HistoryMaker: that Yaku kid is nice :)

RussianBeauty: bye Yaku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arson is just crime brûlée. Change my mind.


	4. Suga Freaks Out About The Mafia and Black Market Organ Dealers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me: this fic will be happy and fluffy!
> 
> Also me: Hinata and Yams will go missing!
> 
> Did they wander off and get lost? Have they been kidnapped? Were they kidnapped by black market organ dealers who want to dismember and disembowl both of them to sell their body parts on black market auctions?  
> Perhaps?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun times!
> 
> Happy birthday to Yaku!!!

Hinata was eating lunch with all his friends when the doors opened. Everybody's heads turned to see what was going on, when Yachi sprinted towards two orange haired kids and tackled them in a hug. 

"Hey, Yachi!"

"Long time, no see."

Yachi laughed. "Hello, Hikaru and Kaoru!"

The blonde in the group looked puzzled. "I thought they were lying. I didn't think Hikaru and Kaoru actually had friends outside the club."

"Shut it, Tamaki."

Suga wiped a tear from his eye and hugged Daichi. "Our daughter is growing up so fast."

Daichi nodded. "Yes. Growing up right before our eyes."

Yachi didn't notice them, and gestured for Hinata to join into their cuddle puddle. It took a while, but eventually the entire host club was introduced to all the volleyball teams, and they cancelled the rest of the day's practice, because a lot of people were more interested in the new people than practice. 

Bokuto and Tamaki were bonding in the corner in their emo modes, while Kyouya and Akaashi sat off to the side talking about something. Haruhi was hanging out with Kiyoko. Honey was talking excitedly with Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita, with Mori in standing off to the side watching the small blond. Yachi was still with the twins. Suga scanned the crowd, and very nervous. 

"Hey, Suga. What's wrong?" Daichi put his hand on Suga's shoulder.

"Daichi, I don't see Hinata. Where do you think he is?" Suga kept his voice quiet as to not worry anybody around them.

Daichi looked around for a moment. "I don't see him either."

Tsukishima ran to them, looking very panicked. "Suga, Daichi! I need your help!"

"Calm down, Tsukishima!" Daichi said as he and Suga led the tall boy out into the parking lot.

"What's wrong?" Suga was worried. Tsukishima _never_ showed emotion. It was a defining characteristic trait of his, so him being this panicked was making Daichi and Suga more panicked. 

"I can't find Tadashi! I went to go get a drink and came back 30 seconds later, and he was gone! I don't know he is! I can't find him _anywhere. I've been looking for about an hour and a half!"_

Suga gasped and Daichi's eyes went wide. "Not another one."

"Wait, another one? Who else is missing?" Tsukishima asked.

"Hinata. We can't find Hinata. He's disappeared. It's been over an hour since I've seen him, and now you're saying Yamaguchi disappeared. We have to tell the other players. We need more people out looking for them! Then if anyone finds them, they can send a message in the group chat." Suga was about to start crying. He took his job as the mom friend very seriously, and now two of his children were lost. The two babies of the team were lost.

"Everybody, we have an emergency announcement!" Daichi yelled. He wasn't loud enough, only three people heard him and turned to acknowledge them. 

Suga couldn't stand it. "EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN! THERE'S BEEN AN EMERGENCY!"

Asahi and the second years looked scared at Suga. They'd never seen him this angry before. Everybody shutted up and looked at the setter. 

"HAS ANYBODY SEEN HINATA OR YAMAGUCHI IN THE PAST HOUR? NOBODY CAN FIND THEM!"

All the small groups around the gym called out _'no'_ and Suga felt his lifespan shorten. _The babies of Karasuno were missing._ Everybody split up, looking for the pinch server and small middle blocker. The coaches had gone to check on dinner and the last thing Suga and Daichi wanted to do was tell Ukai and Takeda that two Karasuno first years had gone missing.

Suga started crying and Daichi hugged him. "If anybody finds him, send a message to the group chat and bring them to the gym!"

Everybody nodded and scattered out. Ukai and Takeda entered the gym. "Daichi? Why is Suga crying and where is everybody?"

"Suga's crying because Hinata and Yamaguchi have gone missing. Everybody is gone because they're all looking for Yamaguchi and Hinata."

Takeda joined Suga in crying and Ukai started freaking out. "I'll call their families! Maybe they'll know where they could have gone?" 

It was two hours before everybody came back. Nobody had seen Hinata or Yamaguchi. Coach Ukai and Takeda were both unable to get in contact with their families. Nobody could contact the two missing boys as Tsukishima had Yamaguchi's phone and Kageyama had Hinata's. Suga was freaking out. 

"Oh my god, they're gone! What if they've been _murdered!_ Daichi what if they're _dead_ and we're just standing here as their bodies start to decompose on the side of the road? What if they were _kidnapped?_ Do you think there's a possibility they could be getting _tortured_ by whoever kidnapped them and is planning to kill them? Oh my god! This is all my fault! I should have payed more attention to them! I should have watched more carefully? Where could they possibly be at?" 

"Suga," Daichi put his hand on Suga's shouder. "They'll be okay. They probably just got lost, somewhere, and are looking for a way to contact us. There's no proof at all that any of what you said is happening."

Suga quieted down for a moment before speaking up again. "What if the _mafia_ had a black market organ dealer kidnap them so they could dismember and disembowl both of them to sell their body parts on black market auctions?"

A moment of silence before a chorus of voices all echoed the same thought, _"Suga, what the actual fuck?"_

Daichi shook his head at the Co-Captain. "Suga, you're overreacting. _Nothing_ like that will happen to those two. Everything will be fine. Just wait and see."

They all tried to stay awake as late as they could, but Suga and Daichi were the last to pass out, at 2:30 AM, and still no sign of the two first years. Everybody was awake by 6:30 AM, but still no contact from Hinata and Yamaguchi. Takeda had managed to call Yamaguchi's mother and she would be there by 2:30 PM. Nobody was able to contact Hinata's family. They had all split into groups again to look for the boys. Ukai and Takeda stayed behind to wait at the gym. 

Everybody had the same questions rolling through their minds. _Where were Shouyou and Tadashi? Were they safe? Were they alive?_

Lev, Kuroo, and Kenma were out looking for the two Karasuno boys when Lev's phone dinged and he started typing fast.

"Lev, is everything okay?" Kuroo asked.

Lev nodded. "My cousin and his fiancé and a friend of theirs is in Tokyo. I told them about Hinata and Yamaguchi. They're asking for more information about them so they can help us look around."

"Oh." Kuroo paused. "Do they have any info?"

"Not right now. They'll message me about anything they find." Lev explained. "And my older sister, Alisa, is with them. She knows Hinata!"

30 minutes later, Lev's phone went off again.

///////////////////

Russian Beauty: LEV!!!!!

lion: ALISA! DID YOU FIND THEM?

eros: meet us @ the rink! we think we found them!

lion: Kuroo, Kenma, and me r on our way back 2 Nekoma now. 

HistoryMaker: I'll let one of them use my phone to message you!

lion: okay!

HistoryMaker: ummm. . .hello? who r u people and what is going on?

eros: i'm Yuri

yurio: my name is also yuri but they gave me the annoying nickname Yurio

eros: you are on Victor's phone

RussianBeauty: I'm Alisa

lion: this is Lev Haiba!

HistoryMaker: why r u saying ur names n the chat if u r standing around us.

lion: 2 of my friends are missing and this way if anybody asks, there is proof we introduced ourselves 2 u!

HistoryMaker: smart! 

lion: what is your name?

HistoryMaker: I'm Tadashi Yamaguchi from Karasuno. I have Hinata with me. We got lost and the rink was open last night and we fell asleep here. We didn't have a way to contact anybody and we didn't want to get more lost, so we stayed here.

lion: Victor is my cousin, Yuri is his finacé, and Yurio is their friend! They came to Tokyo to visit me and Alisa (my sister)! They know where Nekoma is if u r ok with them bringing u back! 

HistoryMaker: i don't want to bother anyone. . .

eros: u won't bother us! We were going to Nekoma to see Lev when he messaged us saying his friends were missing. We came back here bc Victor left his sunglasses.

lion: Coach Ukai called Yamaguchi's mom. She'll be here any moment now. Nobody was able to contact Hinata's fam tho.

HistoryMaker: this is Hinata! My mom is in America with Natsu and her phone broke just b4 she left and she can't get a new one until after she comes back (1 week after camp ends)

lion: oh. 

HistoryMaker: this is Yamaguchi again. We'll go with your family/friends! Thank you, Lev!

lion: np. Ur mom just got here. She's freaking out. Ukai and Takeda are talking to her.

eros: we'll b there in abt 5 minutes. Don't worry abt trying to interrupt their conversation. 

lion: see u soon everyone!

RussianBeauty: see u soon Lev!

///////////////////

Whatever Nekoma, Fukurodani, Karasuno, and the Host Club were expecting was not this. The last thing they thought would happen would be 3 famous figure skaters and Lev's older sister walking through the gym doors with Hinata and Yamaguchi. Everybody freaked out. Suga wouldn't stop hugging the two boys and crying. Yamaguchi's mom was acting the same way. Takeda was crying into Ukai's chest as Ukai hugged him, trying to calm him down. Tsukishima and Daichi were treatening the skaters, and Alisa was yelling at Lev for not cleaning his room before he left. Several others were freaking out because, _Oh my god, that's Victor Nikiforov and both the Yuri's, how the fuck do they know Lev and his sister?_

Tsukishima and Yurio were off on the side, trading insults for the other to use. Yuri was talking to Takeda, who was no longer crying or hugging on to Ukai. Victor was being threatened by Suga, because if _anything_ happened to his two children, Victor's body would never be found. Yamaguchi was talking to his mom on the other side of the gym and Hinata was talking to Daichi. Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kiyoko were attempting to calm down a crying Yachi, and failing miserably. 

"Hey, Suga!" The setter turned in the direction of Tanaka's voice.

"What?"

"Remember last night when you started freaking out because you thought the _Mafia_ had hired _Black Market Organ Dealers_ to _kidnap, dismemer, and disembowl_ Tadashi and Shouyou?"

Suga tilted his head. "Yeah? Why?"

"How do you feel about that now that they've been found and brought back?"

"It was a genuine concern, okay, and I stand by it!" Suga was getting annoyed with the wing spiker. "Bring it up again I dare you."

Tanaka looked scared for a moment, but replaced it with a smile. "Why would the mafia and black market organ dealers mess with two highschool volleyball players?"

Suga moved fast, and before anybody could register what was happening there was a loud _CRACK_ and Tanaka was on the floor holding his face. Suga was fuming. 

Daichi figured out what had happened first and shook himself out of his daze, running toward the pair. "SUGAWARA KOSHI!" 

"Uh oh." Asahi said. "He used the full name and he's annoyed. Annoyed Daichi and fuming Suga. This will be scary."

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU PUNCH TANAKA IN THE FACE? JUST BECAUSE HE ANNOYED YOU? WALK AWAY NEXT TIME!" Daichi was slowly getting angrier with Suga, and everybody was getting more scared. This had never happened before. 

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCK OFF! IF YOU HAD BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO THE TEAM LIKE A GOOD CAPTAIN, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!" Suga's voice echoed around the gym and everybody turned to look at them, it was silent.

"Excuse me? Sugawara Koshi, you did not just say that." Daichi was strangely quiet.

"You heard me, Sawamura Daichi." Suga's voice matched Daichi's.

Karasuno, Nekoma, Fukurodani, the Host Club, and the skaters watched the two boyss keep fighting, their voices getting louder until they were shouting words that they'd regret later on. 

"IF YOU WERE A BETTER CAPTAIN MAYBE WE WOULD'VE BEATEN AOBA JOHSAI IN THE INTER-HIGH!"

"IF YOU WERE A BETTER SETTER WE WOULD HAVE BEATEN AOBA JOHSAI IN THE INTER-HIGH! YOU WENT UP AGAINST HIM DIDN'T YOU? MAYBE IF YOUR SETS WERE ACTUALLY GOOD-"

Daichi didn't finish. Suga threw the first punch to shut him up, but he kept throwing them, tears streaming down his face. Daichi threw punches back at Suga. It was an all out brawl. Hinata, Yamaguchi, Yachi, and Asahi were crying. Kuroo and Bokuto had jumped out of their daze and were attempting to separate the two crows. Suga punched Kuroo in the face, Daichi kicked Bokuto in the knee, and they went back at each other. Coach Ukai, Takeda, and Yamaguchi's mom walked back in to the gym as Kuroo, Bokuto, Ennoshita, and Akaashi pulled the two apart.

"Did we miss something?" Takeda asked, his voice cut through the tension in the air. Kinoshita, Narita, and Kiyoko were trying to calm down the four who were crying. Daichi and Suga both had a black eye forming, bloody noses, busted lips, and several bruises scattered around their body.

"I'll fill you in later. Keep Suga and Daichi apart for now." Kiyoko responded to Takeda as Yachi cried into her shoulder. 

The two were still fuming at each other, but when released by Kuroo and Bokuto, they both kept their mouths shut and didn't go after the other. They just glared. 

"Let's get some lunch?" The Hitachiin twins spoke up. 

Victor nodded his head. "Lunch will be nice. Let's go get some food."

About 15 minutes later they were all seated, food surrounding them all. There was a tense silence enveloping the players.

"Well, this was a crappy birthday." Yaku nervously laughed. 

"What?" Lev looked confused. 

Yaku slapped his head. "It's August 8th, idiot! It's my birthday today! And you know, two missing players and a fist fight is the best way to spend your birthday."

"Happy birthday, Yaku." Kuroo called from the other side of the room and it chorused around from everybody. Hinata had the bright idea of singing to the Nekoma libero, who awkwardly sat while everybody stared at him and sang.

It'd been a long stressful day already, and it was only 11 AM. Hopefully, things would be better and back to normal soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter to write, but I feel so guilty about Suga and Daichi. I kept feeling guilty about their fight for the past couple days as I planned it, but instead of replanning the end of the chapter, I just kept writing the fight scene. 
> 
> Throw ideas at me in the comments!!!
> 
> Will Daichi and Suga ever make up???
> 
> Who knows? Definitely not me!


	5. Let's Play The Self-Blame Game!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody is blaming themselves about what happened. :(
> 
> I might not post for a bit. My little brother has seizures, and his disorder is rare. The nearest seizure specialist is about 2 hours away from where we live. August 11 we went to the hospital so his specialist could check in on him and do some tests/labs. Apparently some of the tests came back with bad results and we'll be going about 6 hours away to another hospital with more specialists, and we don't know when. The COVID pandemic isn't helping this situation at all. I'll try to upload something when I learn more abt the trip, so I can tell you how long I'll be out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor babies, they all need hugs :(

tangerineboii: will everything be okay with Suga + Daichi?

tired: idk. They've never fought the entire time the 2nd years have been here.

MaybeJesus: they've never fought before. Ennoshita, do u think they'll make up soon? It's going to be hard to go finish training camp with Suga and Daichi fighting.

tired: i hope they do. Today was only day 5 of camp. We still have about 8-9 days left.

tangerineboii: they both said some really mean things to each other. 

kags: both of them were crying 2. It was weird and scary seeing that fight.

yamayama: if i hadn't gotten distracted and asked Hinata to go on a walk with me, none of this would have happened.

yamayama: i'm sorry. their entire fight and all of today + last night was all my fault.

noodle: yams, don't say that. 

tangerineboii: its not your fault yama! if anything it's my fault. i got us lost on our walk.

tangerineboii: and it wasnt suga or daichi's fault during the inter-high. i wasn't fast enough and my quick didnt work. That's why we lost. It was my fault.

kags: Hinata! None of that is your fault. Things happen. If anything, it'd be my fault bc my set wasn't good enough.

tangerineboii: kageyama, ur set was perfect. I didn't spike it right and it was blocked. Thats why we lost.

kags: i spent most of my time on the court going after oikawa instrad of helping the entire team.

kags: dont blame urself when it's so obviously my fault. 

liberBRO: hey, kageyama ur set was perfect, and hinata ur spike was great. I should have reacted faster and gotten the ball after it was blocked. The last point was on me.

tangerineboii: NOYA! U R THE BEST LIBERO EVR! DONT BLAME URSELF! 

tangerineboii: i'm a useless part of the team any way. all i can do is that quick. i should have been pulled when they started defending against it. 

MaybeJesus: why are you all being so negative rn?

tired: yes, we lost. it happens, and it's ok that it happened. we just have to practice and practice until we get better, and then we'll be ready for the spring nationals. 

tired: our loss to seijoh hurt a lot, and it brought a lot of regrets

tired: but that doesn't make it any 1's fault.

Kazoo: ennoshita is right. We lost as a team, not as individual players. 

exhausted™: i agree with Narita and Ennoshita.

Kazoo: we all tried our hardest, and our 120% wasnt enough, so we r going 2 train hard and make our levels go up to 200% amd go 2 spring nationals!

exhausted™: we will fly to the spring nationals!

liberBRO: HELL FUCKING YEAH WE WILL!

tired: language

liberBRO: english

disaster™: lol noya my bro

liberBRO: TANAKA!!!!

tired: =_=

disaster™: u ok Ennoshita?

Kazoo: is anybody ever okay?

noodle: no

yamayama: tsuki, we've talked abt this b4. . .

noodle: :)

noodle: i just smiled lol

noodle: and there's an lol at the end of the 2nd message.

noodle: u cant see the pain

Kazoo: do you wanna talk abt this, Tsukishima? 

tired: lol Tsukishima, that's a mood

exhausted™: Ennoshita, Tsukishima, Narita and I are always available if you wanna talk. 

noodle: no. lets just bottle it lol. 

tired™: bottle it in. wait long enough and something will happen, and you'll react like mentos + coke

tired™: the drink, not the drug

MaybeJesus: r u all doing good? 

MaybeJesus: also, what happened to Kageyama and Hinata?

yamayama: i think Hinata went to talk to Suga/Daichi and Kageyama went 2 get a drink/snack.

MaybeJesus: oh, good. 

MaybeJesus: wait

MaybeJesus: SUGA AND DAICHI TOGETJER??? OR WHICH EVER ONE HE FINDS FIRST????

yamayama: idk. . . 

Kazoo: Kinoshita, Enooshita, and I are going to bed. The other 2 just fell asleep, so that's why I'm speaking 4 them.

yamayama: gn!

noodle: goodnight.

MaybeJesus: night!

disaster™: i'm going to bed too. Noya just crashed. I'm carrying him back to his cot. 

MaybeJesus: is he okay?

disaster™: yea. He's just tired.

noodle: night.

yamayama: gn!

MaybeJesus: Good night

kags: back. what happened.

MaybeJesus: most of them went to bed. i think tsukishima + Yamaguchi just fell asleep. It's just me and you.

kags: oh. 

kags: r u ok? U r the only other 3rd year player. U have been around Suga and Daichi much longer than anybody else. 

MaybeJesus: yeah. i got scared. They haven't ever fought that i'm aware of. And they actually said all those things and came to blows.

MaybeJesus: i hope they make up soon. It's weird with them not talking to each other.

kags: where r they anyways??

MaybeJesus: Suga is with Fukurodani and Daichi is with Nekoma. That way they didn't start a fight in here tonight. They'll be staying separate until they make up. 

kags: oh. 

tangerineboii: i'm back.

MaybeJesus: which one did you talk to?

tangerineboii: i talked with Suga bc Kuroo said Daichi was sleeping.

MaybeJesus: oh. 

tangerineboii: i think this fight might go on for a while. 

kags: y?

tangerineboii: well, they r both stubborn, and neither 1 likes to apologize. amd it's the first major fight between the 2 of them thay we know of.

tangerineboii: they might just be needing some time to sort through their feelings b4 they apologize.

tangerineboii: i don't want them 2 fite. 

tangerineboii: fights scare me, especially when the people fighting r usually calm and collected. 

kags: do you have bad memories of people fighting?

kags: ummm. . .if its ok 4 me 2 ask that.

tangerineboii: yeah. a lot of bad memories. 

MaybeJesus: if you want to talk about any of it, or anything at all, the 2nd and 3rd years are here 4 you. Including Kiyoko.

kags: me 2. So is Yachi. Idk if Yamaguchi will be comfortable talking abt fights, he's v anxious. And Tsukishima seems like he doesn't care, but u can talk 2 me or yachi.

tangerineboii: thank you. :)

MaybeJesus: u r welcome

kags: welc

//////////

CaptainThighs: . . .

MamaSugar: . . .

CaptainThighs: Can we talk? In person? Please? Without a fist fight?

MamaSugar: why?

CaptainThighs: its important. i'd rather not say it over text. please. sugawara, please let me have a moment 2 talk 2 u.

MamaSugar: . . .maybe. . .when were u thinking???

CaptainThighs: as early as we can meet up alone. I'll make time if you tell me when 2 meet u. 

MamaSugar: i'll txt u when Fukuroda Fukurodani is all asleep. Message me when Nekoma is asleep. We'll sneak out somewhere and talk. 

CaptainThighs: sounds like a plan. Any place in mind to go 2? 

MamaSugar: what abt that 24hr cafe thats like 5 streets down? 

CaptainThighs: ok. r we taking our phones?

MamaSugar: no. we'll block each other so nobody can see these and find us. We'll come back when we r done talking with each other.

CaptainThighs: ok. Sounds like a plan. It's 10:55pm rn. I know all of Nekoma is asleep. Kenma was the last and he went to sleep abt 30 minutes ago? Is Fukurodani asleep?

MamaSugar: idk if Akaashi or Bokuto are asleep yet. 

CaptainThighs: ok. If u r not sure by midnight, we wait until tomorrow, okay?

MamaSugar: okay.

MamaSugar: it's 11:17 rn and I know that Fukurodani is asleep. Meet me outside the gym. If u r not there by 11:30, i'll assume something went wrong amd go back to bed.

CaptainThighs: i'll meet with u. See u soon.

MamaSugar: ok

MamaSugar has blocked CaptainThighs

CaptainThighs has blocked MamaSugar

//////////

Suga and Daichi reached they gym at the same time. Their phones were in their beds, and no notes or clues as to where they'd be going. They were sure they'd be back before everybody woke up. They reluctantly started walking, the tension between the two of them rising in the deafness of the city night. They were both relieved to see a couple of others also in the little café. If they hit an awkward moment, they'd be able to focus on something else instead of their problem. 

They both got a hot chocolate and sat down, quiet for a few minutes until Daichi was the first to speak up. "I'm sorry I yelled all those things at you. And I'm really super sorry that I compared you to Oikawa. You're an amazing setter and it's not your fault that you keep getting pushed back because of others joining the team. And, I'm sorry I threw those punches back at you. If I was a better Captain, we could have solved our problem without the fighting."

Suga stared down at his cocoa on shock. "What? You're already a great Captain! The best fit for Karasuno? And you're a great player. I'm sorry for what I yelled at you, and for throwing the first punch. I shouldn't have punched Tanaka either. I let my emotions get the best of me. I don't like fighting, I never habe, but I still went and started throwing punches at my _teammates."_

Suga took a deep breath and tried to choke out his next words, but started crying instead. Daichi rushed over to him and pulled him into a hug. His silver hair smelled like lavender. 

Daichi and Suga left the café and went to the park down the street. The setter was still crying as the wing spiker carried him to the swings and they sat down side by side, gently using their feet to rock themselves back and forth.

"Are you okay, Suga? Do you want to go back now and finish talking tomorrow? Or mayne later today? We don't have a clock. I have no idea what time it is now." Daichi was concerned. 

Suga gave a small laugh and wiped tears from his face, his eyes were puffy and red. "I'm okay, Daichi. I can tell you the time by the position of the sun or moon in the sky if you ask!"

"Really? I didn't know you could do that?" Daichi's eyes were wide with wonder.

Suga smiled and looked up. "Judging by the trajectory of the moon from here, I'd say it's. . . night time. And those clouds tell me it's partly cloudy because I can still see stars in the sky!"

Daichi looked at Suga in disbelief. "You said you knew the time?"

"Well, I do. Like I told you, it's nighttime, and your weather report is hot and partly cloudy."

"You're an idiot."

"Thanks."

"I didn't mean it as a compliment."

"I'm aware."

"I'm starting to hate you."

"Well," Suga paused a moment before continuing his line, "you can't possibly hate me more than I hate myself!"

Daichi froze and looked at the silver-haired pretty setter who was smiling at him. "Why do you hate yourself?"

Suga froze. "Just ignore that comment. I'm sorry. You don't have to worry about me."

"If you needed help with mental health you can reach out to _anybody_ on any team. We all love you, Suga. You're like the Mama Crow, and your kids are spread through a lot of the teams we know."

Suga looked back at the moon. "I didn't want to bother anybody. My parents keep fighting, but I can't do anything about that."

Daichi frowned. "Suga. . ."

"Ignore all that. I'm fine. I swear, Daichi. You don't need to worry."

"I'm not so sure, Suga. Something bothered you enough to make you start throwing punches. I don't to fight with you-"

"Then don't. Drop the subject. Leave me alone." Suga stood up from the swing. "I'm going back to Nekoma, now. Goodbye."

Daichi sat in the swing, watching Suga's back until it disappeared into the city night, wondering what he had done to make their relationship deteriorate so quickly in just a single day. 

He started crying and the sun stayed behind clouds, keeping the sky as grey as Daichi was feeling. It started softly raining and he let his tears mix in with the raindrops. 

He didn't want to fight with Suga.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throw ideas at me in the comments or my tumblr roy-writes!
> 
> Happy birthday to 2 boiis who seem intimidating, but are really big softies, Aone and Ushijima!


	6. Where Are They?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga left the park to go back to Nekoma. Daichi stayed at the park. Suga's not at Nekoma. Daichi's not there either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this fic bc during the gc parts i dont have to worry abt grammer or anything.
> 
> I'm really sorry that you all had to wait so long for this. My glasses broke and I just started my last year of highschool online, so my life is a bit hectic rn. Sometime in September I'm going abt 4-6 hours away for abt a week so my little bro can get tests done at a hospital for his seizures. I'll try to update again as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding!

Pollux: Hinata, this is Kaoru. Is everything ok with ur cap and pretty silver haired setter? that was a big fight and lots of stuff was said.

tangerineboii: no. they were staying with separate teams last night, but I just woke up to hear Fukurodani and Nekoma's captain's whisper yelling in a hallway abt the 2 of them missing???? 

Castor: oh shit. does anybody else knoe?

tangerineboii: i dont think so. i just woke up and think they just woke too. i don't want them to fight. Amd i want them both 2 b safe.

Pollux: keep us updated. 

Castor: please do. If u need help looking 4 them, the Host Club is here to help. U wont b alone.

tangerineboii: ok. thanks.

Castor: i hope it's solved soon.

Pollux: no prob.

//////////

nerd: bokuto, wake up now

BROkuto: wat wrong

nerd: Daichi isnt here. do u have Suga????

BROkuto: . . .

BROkuto: he's gone too

nerd: oh shit. 

nerd: this is bas

nerd: this is really bad

BROkuto: wat do we do?

nerd: we have abt 45 min until then others wake up. Lets look around the building until then.

BROkuto: wat if we dont find thwm???

nerd: then we'll alert everybody @ breakfst. meet me in the hallway to discuss how we can split and look over the entire school. 

BROkuto: on my way rn. See u soon.

nerd: we have 15 minutes until everybody is awake. Suga + Daichi r not @ the school.

BROkuto: we have a problem.

nerd: yeah, Karasuno's Cap and Co-Cap are fighting and missing. 

BROkuto: i found Hinata. He knows they r not here

nerd: thats a problem. mayb he can help?

BROkuto: ok. i'll ask. u should go scout nearby areas 4 them

nerd: i will

nerd: i found Daichi @ the park. u and hinata have any luck finding suga?

tangerineboii: no we haven't

CaptainThighs: suga said he was going back to nekoma about 1-2 hours ago

BROkuto: he did?

CaptainThighs: yeah. R u sure he's not there

nerd: yes

tangerineboii: i relooked the school. suga not here.

CaptainThighs: this is all my fault. i'm sorry.

tangerineboii: the fight?

CaptainThighs: i went to talk to him last night. We went to the cafe and the park. We apologized and i made a bad comment and now we're worse. If he's disappeared its my fault. 

CaptainThighs: i'm sorry

tangerineboii: its nkt ur faukt daichi. We'll find Suga, and you can reapologize.

nerd: maybe hes @ that cafe?

BROkuto: hinata and i will check it 

nerd: ok. 

//////////

When everybody woke up the did not expect for five of the players to be missing, especially not the two whose relationship was rapidly declining. Everybody was in a panic looking for Daichi, Suga, Hinata, Bokuto, and Kuroo. It was absolute chaos and the group chat was being spammed. It was concerning that Daichi never got online to complain about spamming his phine, and Ennoshita was _freaking._

Honey and the Hitachiin twins were attempting to calm Ennoshita. Lev was freaking out about Kuroo missing, which was causing Yuri to freak out, and Victor was panicking trying to calm both of them down. And Yurio was casually talking about murder and kidnapping statistics with Tsukishima, and generally causing more panic.

"Did we miss something?"

Everybody turned their heads to the voice, and there in the doorway with a shit-eating grin on his face was Kuroo, who was standing next to an awkwardly flustered Daichi.

Ennoshita was the first to move and he was _fuming._ "SAWAMURA DAICHI-"

"Uh-oh, he used the full name. You're dead."

"WHAT IN THE EVER EVOLVING LIVING HELL MADE YOU DECIDE TO LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITHOUT LEAVING A NOTE OR ANYTHING? AND WHERE ARE SUGA, HINATA, AND BOKUTO? AKAASHI IS IN AN EMO MODE AND IT'S GETTING REALLY SCARY! WHERE THE FUCK WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU DECIDED TO JUST GO? YOU DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER YOUR PHONE OR RESPOND IN THE GROUP CHAT, YOU DUMBASS!"

"Uhhhh. . .I'm sorry?" Daichi rubbed the back of his neck and looked down.

"GOOD! NOW, GO DO SOME UPHILL SPRINTS AND WHEN YOU FINISH THOSE, COME BACK AND DO SOME FLYING LAPS! AM I UNDERSTOOD?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now go."

They both turned to see Yaku and Kenma attempting to murder Kuroo and shrugged it off. "He'll be fine. They just need to release their anger."

//////////

MamaSugar: is anyone online?

MaybeJesus: SUGA!!!! WHERE R U????

liberBRO: SUGA!

disaster™: Sugawara has entered the chat.

tired: KOSHI SUGAWARA !!!!!!!!

MamaSugar: hey, Ennoshita.

tired: WTF WERE YOU THINKING JUST DISAPPEARING?????

MamaSugar: i'm sorry. i'd rather not talk abt my reasons pls. and i'm kinda lost.

tangerineboii: MAMA!!!!!

yamayama: MOM!!!

noodle: hey.

exhausted™: ennoshita wants to murder you, suga.

Kazoo: yea. b careful.

kags: r we ignoring the fact that Suga said he's lost?

tired: what's a landmark around you?

MamaSugar: trees and a rock.

tired: i mean, any buildings or something???

MamaSugar: it was dark outside. I think I accidentally walked a trail instead of the sidewalk. I left my phone in my gym bag and signed in on a phone I found along the side of the road. 

tired: YOU STOLE A PHONE?????

MamaSugar: i found it at 4 am along an empty trail. I'm surrounded by trees and kinda lost. 

tired: . . .

tangerineboii: maybe you can yell? somebody might hear you and give you directions. Maybe the owner of the phone will appear?

MamaSugar: would any of the others at the school happen to have an idea abt where I could possibly b at?

tangerineboii: i'll ask

glasses: hello.

noodle: who the fuck are you

MamaSugar: TSUKISHIMA KEI, WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE. THERE IS NO GODDAMNED CURSING IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAT! 

yamayama: heck

MamaSugar: ur on some thin fucking ice, tadashi

yamayama: :)

glasses: i'm Kyoya, from the OHSHC

eros: hey, this is Yuri Katsuki!

Castor: This is Hikaru

Pollux: Kaoru

Honey: Haninozuka or Honey for short

Mori: -_-

Commoner: Haruhi

perfection: it is I, the frenchiest fry, God's chosen being, and figure of absolute beauty, Tamaki Suoh

kags: Tamaki sounds a lot like some1 i know

tangerineboii: yeah

noodle: its oikawa 2.0

noodle: i hate this

MamaSugar: y r all these people here?

commoner: we heard someone went missing. some of the host club memebers might be able to help. 

perfection: FEAR NOT, TAMAKI WILL HELP YOU!

commoner: that's why i am in fear

Castor: omg

Pollux: lol is Haruhi wrong tho????? 

glasses: Haruhi has a valid point

perfection: :(

Mori: . . .

Honey: lol

perfection: u guys r all r00d 2 me :(

glasses: good

Pollux: oh shit

Castor: the Host Club parents r fighting

Honey: this is normal

Mori: .

MamaSugar: there's a weird dude out here.

Kazoo: B SAFE, HIDE!!!

MamaSugar: i can't hide without leaving the trail, and this spot of service.

tired: if u get kidnapped i stg i will end you

MamaSugar: dully noted

Mori: what does this person look like?? 

Honey: we can help give you self defense tips if u want.

MamaSugar: he's hunched over a lot.

MamaSugar: he's wearing a cloack. all black. hood up. He's holding a thing. It's tan. 

glasses: is this thing a puppet by any chance???

MamaSugar: i cant tell, why?

glasses: if it's a cat puppet, it might be Nekozawa-senpai from Ouran! He's afraid of the light. And he's obsessed with his puppet, Belzeneff, and black magic.

MamaSugar: ok. . .

glasses: brb. i'll message Nekozawa and ask.

glasses: suga, u r the 1 with silver hair, right???

MamaSugar: yes.

//////////

glasses: Nekozawa, where are you?

belzeneff: i'm visiting some family friends in Tokyo. Why?

glasses: are you doing anything right now?

belzeneff: i'm hiding in the woods to avoid going to a meeting. 

glasses: do you see anyone around you???

belzeneff: is everything okay???

glasses: the Host Club came to visit some of Hikaru and Kaoru's friends who play volleyball. One of the players has gone missing. He said he went in a trail on accident and he's lost.

belzeneff: what does this person look like?

glasses: he's abt average height, silver hair. his name is Sugawara. 

belzeneff: there is a person out here with Silver hair. he looks kinda lost. He's in pajamas, tho.

glasses: approach and ask him if he's lost. I'll add you to the gc.

belzeneff: ok

//////////

MamaSugar: he's approaching me.

Honey: be prepared to throw a punch or defend yourself somehow.

Mori: if you can't use your hands or feet, use your elbows or knees. If it comes down to it, headbutt them.

glasses: wait. i'm pretty sure it is Nekozawa.

MamaSugar: ok.

MamaSugar: wtf

MamaSugar: . . .

tangerineboii: mama, r u ok?

MamaSugar: maybe?

Kazoo: what did they say?

MamaSugar: he asked if I wanted to join a Black Magic club and get a free Belzeneff the curse doll???

glasses: . . .

glasses: i told him to ask you if you were lost

MamaSugar: so, this is Nekozawa?

Castor: yep

Pollux: absolutely

MamaSugar: ok!!!

MamaSugar: brb

belzeneff: would you like to join the Black Magic club? Join now and you'll get a free Belzeneff the Curse Doll!

commoner: hello, senpai

perfection: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

tangerineboii: Belzeneff???

belzeneff: Belzeneff is a cat puppet :)

tangerineboii: can I get a Belzeneff puppet? I think my little sister would love to have a cat puppet :)

belzeneff: will you join the black magic club?

tangerineboii: i don't go to Ouran, so I can't, but I'll hang out with u and b ur friend!

belzeneff: :)

tangerineboii: MOM I MADE A FRIEND!!!

MamaSugar: I'm proud of you, Hinata. I'm with Nekozawa. We're bringing the phone to the police station. And then going 2 Nekoma. :)

exhausted™: b safe. And Ennoshita still wants to end you. 

MamaSugar: b back soon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throw ideas at me bc my brain is fried. Thanks.
> 
> Also, I keep adding people into chats and then forgetting abt them lol


	7. Do Not Enter The Gym. You Have Been Warned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was sad abt all the fighting and now I have an idea to fix it, but I'm just winging it at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Yama and his bbq :(

Everybody was relieved as hell when Suga came back safe with Nekozawa, who decided to stay in the corner, after giving Hinata his very own Belzeneff the Curse Doll for Natsu. Daichi was finished with his flying laps and looked like he wanted to approach the silver haired setter, but wasn't entirely sure how, and practice continued, while the Host Club and figure skaters went to help with lunch. 

And then lunch time came and as everybody filed out of the gym, Daichi grabbed Suga's hand.

"Can-can we please talk, Suga?" His eyes looked everywhere except Suga's face.

"Of course. Do you want to get food first?"

"No. Can we talk here, before anybody else comes back, please." Daichi sounded close to tears.

"Daichi-" Suga looked around to make sure everybody was gone, and shut the door. "What's wrong? You sound like-"

Suga was cut off by the captain squeezing him in a hug. His shoulders were shaking and Suga realized he was crying. He instinctively wrapped his arms around him and rubbed circles in his back to calm him down.

"Woah, Daichi! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Suga was a little panicked. Daichi didn't like crying in front of others.

"I was so scared. When Kuroo found me in the park. He said that you were missing. He said Bokuto and Hinata hadn't found you. He asked me if I'd seen you. That was _hours_ after you said you were going back to Nekoma. I thought you had been kidnapped or something and it was all _my_ fault because I couldn't keep my mouth shut and I tried to pry into your personal business when I shouldn't have." Daichi was rambling at this point. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry please forgive me."

They both sunk to the floor, still hugging, as Daichi continued to cry and apologize. 

"Daichi, I'm okay."

"But what if you weren't? What if something had happened? I was the one who said we should leave our phones at the school! I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you."

"We agreed to leave our phones at the school. It would _never_ have been your fault."

"I should have stayed with you! I should of at least walked you back here! Instead, you got lost and everybody was worried. I was so scared. I didn't want to even think about the possibility that I'd lost you."

Daichi was crying again. Suga didn't want Daichi to cry. Suga wanted to help calm Daichi down. Suga panicked. _Suga kissed Daichi._

Yamaguchi just wanted to check in on Suga and Daichi. He'd noticed the two had stayed behind in the gym and that was about 45 minutes ago, and Yamaguchi was kinda concerned about both of them. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but whatever it was, wasn't this. Suga and Daichi were kissing in the middle of the gym, completely unaware that Yamaguchi was standing in the doorway with food for them. He slowly backed away and quietly shut the door.

//////////

yamayama: DO NOT ENTER THE GYM!!!!!!!!!!!

noodle: yams, r u ok????????

yamayama: i cant unsee

tangerineboii: what did u see???

noodle: yams, i am concerned. What happened? 

exhausted™: do i need to get Ennoshita?

Kazoo: we can go get Ennoshita if you want. 

tired: has anybody seen Daichi and Suga? Nobody can find them.

tired: yamaguchi, are you okay? Do you need help? What's in the gym?

yamayama: i know where Suga and Daichi are. . .

tired: !!!

tired: where r they?

yamayama: in the gym. do not enter the gym.

tired: ARE THEY FIGHTING????

yamayama: no

yamayama: they're kissing in the middle of the gym

yamayama: IN FRONT OF MY BBQ!

noodle: not the bbq

yamayama: T_T

kags: they were kissing?

yamayama: yep

goddess: took them long enough

disaster™: wait . . .

liberBRO: THEY WEREN'T DATING????

goddess: no

noodle: wtf. i thought they were. they act like they're married.

MaybeJesus: they've acted like that since 1st year.

tangerineboii: really?

goddess: yep

yamayama: why me-

noodle: everything okay?

yamayama: no

noodle: where r u? whats wrong?

yamayama: i was getting ready 2 eat my bbq. . .

noodle: ok. . . .

yamayama: a bird swooped down and my plate fell upside down into the grass :(

noodle: i'll get you some bbq. 

yamayama: omw!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brain is numb.


	8. *John Mulaney Voice* We Don't Have Time For ALL Of That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> goddess: Diachi obtained 17 birthday cakes.
> 
> goddess: Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka were arrested for grave robbery. 
> 
> goddess: Kageyama and Yamaguchi stole 6 horses, 3 cows, 1 goat.
> 
> yamayama: dont forget the ham and dishwasher
> 
> goddess: Tendo stole a helicopter full of illegal weapons.
> 
> chickentendo: still have all it all. the helicopter and the weapons.
> 
> goddess: Kyotani stole Akiteru's car. Saeko was arrested for arson.
> 
> goddess: Lev found the leader of the Mafia and turned him in to the police
> 
> goddess: Bokuto and Kuroo got arrested for kidnapping. Hinata got Kidnapped.
> 
> goddess: Tsukishima was illegally downloading music and movies, and found 3 dead bodies
> 
> goddess: Coach Ukai and Takeda Sensei bailed everybody out of jail.
> 
> goddess: oh, and Suga and I joined the Mafia on accident.
> 
> MamaSugar: pretty sure we r still part of the mafia.
> 
> oikiwi: *john mulaney voice* Now we don't have time for ALL of that
> 
> glasses: i-
> 
> glasses: i have so many questions
> 
> commoner: what idea could have possibly led to all of that?
> 
> tired: Suga wanted a Studio Ghibli themed team sleepover as a bonding experience.

MamaSugar: i've had a great idea

MaybeJesus: oh god

CaptainThighs: please no

MamaSugar: r00d

tired: dont u remember last time

MamaSugar: yep

glasses: do we want to know what happened last time?

Castor: I want to know

Pollux: me 2

Honey: STORY TIME!!!

oikiwi: STORY!!! IWA-CHAN STORY TIME!!!

iwa: shut it, shittykawa. 

plantboii: i am intrigued. 

oikiwi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HistoryMaker: i like stories

eros: what happened last time.

goddess: Diachi obtained 17 birthday cakes.

goddess: Asahi, Noya, and Tanaka were arrested for grave robbery. 

goddess: Kageyama and Yamaguchi stole 6 horses, 3 cows, 1 goat.

yamayama: dont forget the ham and dishwasher

goddess: Tendo stole a helicopter full of illegal weapons.

chickentendo: still have all it all. the helicopter and the weapons.

goddess: Kyotani stole Akiteru's car. Saeko was arrested for arson.

goddess: Lev found the leader of the Mafia and turned him in to the police

goddess: Bokuto and Kuroo were arrested 4 kidnapping. Hinata got Kidnapped.

goddess: Tsukishima was illegally downloading music and movies, and found 3 dead bodies

goddess: Coach Ukai and Takeda Sensei bailed everybody out of jail.

goddess: oh, and Suga and I joined the Mafia on accident.

MamaSugar: pretty sure we r still part of the mafia.

oikiwi: *john mulaney voice* Now we don't have time for ALL of that

glasses: i-

glasses: i have so many questions

commoner: what idea could have possibly led to all of that?

tired: Suga wanted a Studio Ghibli themed team sleepover as a bonding experience.

Castor: i have

Pollux: so many fucking questions

Kazoo: ennoshita, kinoshita, and I were the only ones who stayed at Suga's house and watched the Movies.

bbycrow: this was b4 i joined as manager.

smol: how was this not on the news????

kasshi: i remember me and Kenma going to pick up Bokuto and Kuroo

nerd™: are we ignoring how Tendo admitted he still had the helicopter and weapons?

chickentendo: yes

plantboii: dont question any thing tendo does. 

yurio: are Suga and Kiyoko still a part of the mafia tho???

goddess: idk

MamaSugar: i think we are. Nobody said we weren't and we weren't killed by them. 

glasses: why did Daichi have 17 birthday cakes?

glasses: who even needs 17 birthday cakes?

commoner: are we ignoring the fact that Tsukishima found 3 dead bodies

noodle: yes

Kazoo: we dont talk abt that

tired: forbidden knowledge

smol: i have so many questions and concerns

MamaSugar: take a number and get in line.

Honey: can we get the full story???

CaptainThighs: no

MamaSugar: nope :)

MaybeJesus: negative

liberBRO: no

disaster™: forbidden

Mori: wait

Mori: if suga is part of the mafia, why was he freaking out abt the mafia when you couldnt find Yamaguchi and Hinata

MamaSugar: i forgot abt that small detail. Also we dont know that we are actually still a part of the mafia. 

kags: i wont talk abt that night

tangerineboii: i made everyone a friendship bracelet that night!

noodle: idk how tho. where tf did you even get the beads and string from??

yamayama: he even made some for the mafia members who were there and the police officers who were there

perfection: !!!

perfection: i'll pay you to make me a bracelet

tangerineboii: ok!!!

Honey: can you make matching ones 4 me and Mori?

tangerineboii: ok!

tangerineboii: i'll make everyone a bracelet!!!! 

HistoryMaker: Yay!!!

yurio: no

tangerineboii: :(

yurio: . . .

tangerineboii: :(

yurio: . . .no?

chickentendo: wtf is happening

MamaSugar: shush

chickentendo: no

MamaSugar: bitch

chickentendo: r00d

tangerineboii: :(

yurio: . . .

yurio: fine

tangerineboii: !!!YAY!!!

yurio: make it as dark as my soul!!!

tangerineboii: sparkles and shine

yurio: N O

Belzeneff: would you like to join the Black Magic Club?

yurio: wtf

Belzeneff: you'll get a free Belzeneff the Curse Doll if you join now. 

perfection: DONT HE'LL CURSE YOU

yurio: how does this curse doll work and who tf is Belzeneff???

Belzeneff: Belzeneff is a cursed cat :)

Belzeneff: write the name if somebody you dont like on his back and they'll meet misfortune :)

yurio: :)

eros: yuri plisetski, dont you dare

yurio: watch out Victor

HistoryMaker: watch out for what?

eros: . . .

eros: i'm not helping you

yurio: i'll join the black magic club!

Belzeneff: :)

tangerineboii: i'll make a bracelet for Belzeneff!!!

Belzeneff: really?

tangerineboii: ofc!!!

Belzeneff: :')

nerd™: i have so many questions

pudding: stop spamming my phone. i'm trying to sleep. 

pudding: i hate all of you

tangerineboii: :(

pudding: except Hinata

tangerineboii: :)

nerd™: HEY!!!

smol: practice is going to be entertaining

tiger: yep

disaster™: HEY THERE CITY BOII! LOOKING FOR A FIGHT

MamaSugar: calm down Tanaka

noodle: city boii??

smol: Yamamoto, calm tf down

disaster™: -_-

tiger: -_-

Kazoo: i swear they share a braincell

exhausted™: lol. u r not wrong

disaster™: HEY!

tiger: HEY!

tired: i think that just further proved their point.

liberBRO: damn, the other 2nd years are really going at it

oikiwi: brb

iwa: where tf are you going???

iwa: and he's disappeared

iwa: oh well

iwa: he'll be back

onion: unfortunately

CaptainThighs: isnt he your captain???

iwa: yeah

CaptainThighs: so why doesn't he make you guys do laps or smth when you disrespect him?

onion: our warmups are a punishment.

MaybeJesus: what are your warmups?

onion: Just Dance

liberBRO: i'm banned from playing Just Dance

Castor: i feel like there's several stories to that

Pollux: and we are very interested

chickentendo: in hearing these stories

liberBRO: its related to the Studio Ghibli Team Bonding Sleepover

goddess: oh yeah. that happened too.

yamayama: i cant believe we forgot abt that. omg

chickentendo: i-

glasses: i have so mamy more questions now

commoner: i'm not sure I want to know

perfection: where did all this stuff happen?

CaptainThighs: Suga's backyard

liberBRO: which fucking baffles me

kags: bc Suga lives in the middle of the city

chickentendo: . . .

plantboii: . . .

commoner: i'm sorry, what?

perfection: how-

goddess: dont ask questions you dont want the answers too

Mori: . . .

Castor: w

Pollux: t

Honey: f

oikiwi: I CHANNELED MY INNER LESBIAN FOR THIS????

Inu: thats one way to change a subject

tangerineboii: INUOKA!!!

Inu: HINATA!!!

oikiwi: :'(

iwa: what happened, Shittykawa

oikawa: i channeled my inner lesbian for this AND WE'RE NOT EVEN LESBIANS

perfection: wait r u talking abt. . .?

glasses: wait

commoner: oh no

perfection: JAEHEE'S ROUTE ON MYSTIC MESSENGER

pudding: THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN LESBIANS

pudding: BUT NO

pudding: JUMIN CAN BE GAY BUT JAEHEE CANT BE LESBIAN

perfection: DOES JUMIN HAN IS G A Y ? ? ?

pudding: WTF CHERITZ

nerd™: u ok there, Kenma???

pudding: is anybody?

oikiwi: although Zen is out lord and saviour in Jaehee's route

perfection: amen

pudding: if that ain't the truth idk what is

Kazoo: i have

disaster™: so

exhausted™: many

tired: fucking

liberBRO: questions

iwa: dont ask

glasses: dont ask

commoner: dont ask

nerd™: dont ask

pudding: Vanderwood needs a route

pudding: Vanderwood is the love of my life

perfection: :|

oikiwi: i agree with Tamaki. i dont really care for Vanderwood

pudding: how dare u

pudding: i hope you only get bad endings

perfection: EXCUSE ME

oikiwi: THATS TAKING IT TOO FAR

pudding: leave the love of my life alone

pudding: bitches

oikiwi: but i dont like Vanderwood

perfection: me either

pudding: i'll delete all your progress on Mystic Messenger and then delete it and make sure you can never redownload it again

oikiwi: WTF

oikiwi: HOW CRUEL ARE YOU

perfection: i have never been more offended in my life

perfection: i feel threatened

pudding: good. now leave the love of my life alone or you'll get worse

MaybeJesus: what just happened

kags: no idea

RussianBeauty: Kenma, thats taking it a little too far

lion: ALISA!!!

HistoryMaker: ALISA!!! LEV!!!

eros: hey Alisa! hey Lev!

yurio: hello Alisa and dumbass

lion: :(

yurio: :)

eros: Yurio

yurio: maybe. 

yurio: who's asking

eros: apologize to Lev

yurio: no

lion: :(

yurio: lol

lion: :'(

yurio: . . .

yurio: fine

yurio: i'm sorry Lev

lion: your forgiven!

noodle: *you're

yamayama: lol

chickentendo: wtf is happening

chickentendo: i leave for 5 minutes 

chickentendo: and all this happens

Castor: sucks to b u ig

Pollux: lol yeah. Where is everyone else at

CaptainThighs: lurking

MamaSugar: lurking

MaybeJesus: helping Noya

liberBRO: stuck in a vending machine

disaster™: wtf Noya

MamaSugar: R U HURT???

liberBRO: i'm fine

disaster™: i'm video chatting with Saeko

tangerineboii: ADD BIG SIS TO THE CHAT!!!

disaster™: ok!!!!

bigsis: hey there! 

disaster™: hey Saeko

CaptainThighs: hello

MamaSugar: WHATS UP!

MaybeJesus: any tips on getting things out of a vending machine

liberBRO: any tips on getting out of a vending machine

bigsis: call the police or firefighters or something

liberBRO: on it!

tangerineboii: BIG SIS!!!

bigsis: HEY THERE LITTLE RED!

tangerineboii: want a friendship bracelet?

bigsis: can you make me headband? I cant wear jewelry when i practice/play, but i need a headband as part of the costume!

tangerineboii: ok! It'll be when we go back to Miyagi tho. Cause I dont have any sewing supplies here!

Belzeneff: would you like to join the black magic club and get a free Belzeneff the Curse Doll?

bigsis: why not? Life's all abt making questionable choices

chickentendo: i'd like to make that my new life motto

Castor: us

Pollux: too

BROkuto: has anybody seen Daniel?

kaashi: you lost Daniel?

BROkuto: :(

bigsis: who's Daniel

BROkuto: my pastel rainbow unicorn keychain that lights up 

bigsis: i haven't seen it

bigsis: i'm n Miyagi tho so that might b y

CaptainThighs: nope

MamaSugar: no

kags: no?

tangerineboii: my little sister, Natsu loves unicorns!!!

noodle: i havent seen it

yamayama: didnt natsu ask for a giant man eating squid?

tangerineboii: yeah

noodle: good pet choice

MamaSugar: SHE'S 4 YEARS OLD!!! WHY WOULD SHE NEED A GIANT MAN EATING SQUID

glasses: not asking

plantboii: i'm not sure if i want to know

yurio: every 4 year old should want a giant man eating squid

glasses: i will not ask questions


	9. Oikawa And Kazuhito Talk About Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yamayama: ok, but why were there 3 dead bodies in Suga's yard???
> 
> MamaSugar: i can explain
> 
> CaptainThighs: oh god
> 
> tired: this is going to be a weird explanation
> 
> MaybeJesus: where's the holy water?
> 
> chickentendo: dead bodies are my aesthetic
> 
> plantboii: tendo, the coach talked to you abt this
> 
> //////////
> 
> Kazoo: unrelated, but did you know it's illegal to dump bodies in space.
> 
> tired: Kazuhito what the actual fuck
> 
> exhausted™: i am begging u 2 take a nap
> 
> commoner: why do you know this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really like Space and now Narita and Oikawa are filled with space facts :)

commoner: i was looking over the last convo

perfection: HARUHI!!!! LET ME HUG YOU

commoner: fuck off, senpai

Castor: lol

Pollux: Tamaki is hopeless, isn't he

Honey: yep!

perfection: HEY!

glasses: why would you read through the last convo???

commoner: reasons

commoner: anyways, that all happened in Suga's yard, right?

MamaSugar: yep!

commomer: why were there 3 dead bodies in Suga's yard?

glasses: . . .

Mori: . . .

Honey: 0.0

perfection: *fear*

Castor: That's actually-

Pollux: A really good question

yurio: :)

eros: YURIO, NO

yurio: :)

eros: i give up

CaptainThighs: Why didn't anybody

tired: realize that???

MaybeJesus: Suga?

tangerineboii: MAMA!!!!

kags: Suga, is this because i'm on the starting line up? 

kags: i said i was sorry :(

kags: i know u deserve 2 b out here 2

Kazoo: Kageyama-

exhausted: i need to get paid for being on this team

CaptainThighs: you think being on the team is that bad? Try being in charge of it 

exhausted: no thanks

yamayama: ok, but why were there 3 dead bodies in Suga's yard???

MamaSugar: i can explain

CaptainThighs: oh god

tired: this is going to be a weird explanation

MaybeJesus: where's the holy water?

chickentendo: dead bodies are my aesthetic

plantboii: tendo, the coach talked to you abt this

oikiwi: wait

iwa: oh no

iwa: now crappykawa is asking questions

oikiwi: r 0 0 d iwa-chan

oikiwi: how long ago was this incident?

tangerineboii: the night b4 this camp

glasses: i will not ask questions

nerd™: so abt 5-ish days ago

kags: yep

glasses: i will not ask questions

MamaSugar: well, after the entire thing, my neighbor was arrested for being a serial killer and cannibal

MamaSugar: and he buried 3 of his victims in our yard bc he ran out of room in his

glasses: i will not ask questions

Mori: i am concerned

Honey: are y safe tho???

MamaSugar: yep!

CaptainThighs: that-

tired: was 

noodle: not

exhausted: the

Kazoo: answer

Asahi: we

commoner: expected

MamaSugar: wait

MamaSugar: wht did u guys think happened???

CaptainThigh: idk

kags: i thought u were mad bc I was put on starting lineup and you hurt others bc of it

MamaSugar: bby, noooo :(

Kazoo: unrelated, but did you know it's illegal to dump bodies in space.

tired: Kazuhito what the actual fuck

exhausted™: i am begging u 2 take a nap

commoner: why do you know this?

oikiwi: do you know why it's illegal?

iwa: oh god

onion: now oikawa is talking abt space -_-

Kazoo: it's illegal to dump bodies in space bc NASA doesn't want any bacteria that may survive on or in the body to evolve and adapt to another planet/space thingy, and create an alien species

oikiwi: wait, i thought it was bc it was illegal to litter in space?

Kazoo: i mean

Kazoo: that's probably another reason

Kazoo: but I like mine better

oikiwi: yeeee

oikiwi: ur reasoning is *fun*

glasses: i will not ask questions

exhausted™: Narita, please, I am begging you, take a nap

tired: please, Kazuhito. 

Kazoo: no

commoner: why do you know this????????

glasses: i will not ask questions

perfection: I THINK WE BROKE KYOYA!!!!

Honey: uh oh :(

Mori: i got this

commoner: senpai?

Mori: i'll be back

perfection: i wonder what he'll do?

commomer: who knows

Honey: :)

perfection: senpai?

glasses: TAMAKI

perfection: yes?

glasses: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THE SUN IS A PLANET???? 

glasses: THE SUN IS A STAR

oikiwi: more specifically, the sun is a yellow a dwarf star

Kazoo: it has a radius of 432,168.6 miles

oikiwi: that's 695,508 kilometers

Kazoo: it's distance from earth is 92.92 million miles

oikiwi: 149.60 kilometers

Kazoo: or 1 Astronomical Unit (AU)

oikiwi: its nearest stellar neighbor is the triple star system of Alpha Centauri

Kazoo: Proxima Centauri is 4.24 light years away

oikiwi: Alpha Centauri A and B (two stars in orbit around each other) are 4.37 light years away

tangerineboii: light year??? like Buzz Lightyear???

Kazoo: no. A light year is how fast light travels in a year. 

oikiwi: so from the sun to Proxima Centauri, travelling at the speed of light, would take 4.24 years

Kazoo: bc light travels v fast

oikiwi: 186,000 miles/sec

Kazoo: 299,337.984 km/sec

oikiwi: 11,160,000 miles/min

Kazoo: 17,960,279.04 km/min

oikiwi: 669,600,000 miles/hour

Kazoo: 1,077,616,742.4 km/hour

oikiwi: so very fast

Kazoo: fast

tangerineboii: cool!!!

Kazoo: why did everybody leave :(

tangerineboii: :(

oikiwi: no idea :(

tangerine: can you tell me more fun space facts???

oikiwi: no

Kazoo: not atm

tangerineboii: :(

tangerineboii: why not? did i do smth wrong :(

Kazoo: u didnt, but we would a few others to be online for space talks as well :)

oikiwi: i'm lurking on the NASA website

tangerineboii: !!!

oikiwi: aight, so Hinata, tell me your favorite planet

tangerineboii: Venus!

oikiwi: Narita, help me find facts abt Venus

Kazoo: :)

tangerineboii: yay!!!

Kazoo: ask us questions and we'll answer them!!!

oikiwi: Venus is a Terrestrial planet

tangerineboii: terrestrial??

Kazoo: that means it is made of Rocks and/or metals

oikiwi: a year on Venus lasts only 225 Earth days

Kazoo: which means there year would start January 1 and end August 14

oikiwi: however a full day on Venus is 243 Earth days, 18 days longer than a year! 

Kazoo: which means if their day starts January 1, it would end September 1!

oikiwi: Venus has the longest day of all the planets, and to have 1 day and 1 night would take 117 days

tangerineboii: 0.0

oikiwi: a common nickname for Venus is 'Earth's Twin'

oikiwi: this is bc Venus is abt the same size as Earth! it has a radius of 3,760 miles (6,052 km)

Kazoo: Venus has a thicc gaseous atmosphere that is filled with Carbon Dioxide (CO2)

oikiwi: it's surrounded by thicc, yellow, clouds that are mostly sulfuric acid

tangerineboii: what do the clouds do??? r they like our clouds that make it feel cooler???

Kazoo: no! these clouds trap in heat, making Venus the hottest planet

oikiwi: and Venus gets a lot of heat as it's the 2nd planet from the sun

Kazoo: even tho Mercury is closer to the sun, Venus has a crushing surface air pressure. 

Kazoo: its more than 90× stronger than Earth's

oikiwi: similar to the pressure that'd be felt a mile below the ocean here on earth

Kazoo: Venus was the first planet 2 b explored by spacecraft!!!

oikiwi: NASA's 'Mariner 2' successfully flew by on Dec. 14, 1962, taking a scan of the planet and it's clouds

Kazoo: since Mariner 2, many other spacecraft have explored Venus, including NASA's Magellan, which mapped the surface of the planet!

tangerineboii: has anybody ever landed on Venus???

oikiwi: i'm so glad you asked!!! Yes!!! 

Kazoo: i didnt know that

oikwi: the former Soviet Union (USSR) is the only nation to ever land on the surface of Venus 

oikiwi: they landed 8 spacecraft on Venus between 1970-1982. None of them lasted long in the harsh conditions of Venus, but they still gave us important info

oikiwi: on Dec. 15, 1970, an unmanned Soviet spacecraft, Venera 7, became the first spacecraft to ever land on another planet!

oikiwi: Venera 7 measured the temp of the atmosphere on Venus

oikiwi: 1972, after it's landing, Venera 8 gathered atmospheric and surface data for 50 minutes

oikiwi: Oct. 22, 1975, Venera 9 landed on the surface. It took the first close up photograph of the planet's surface!!

tangerineboii: THATS SO COOL!!!

Kazoo: it really is!!

oikiwi: there's more

oikiwi: 3 days later, Oct. 25, 1975, Venera 10 landed on Venus to take pics of the surface and study the rocks there

oikiwi: Dec. 1978, Venera 11 and Venera 12 landed on Venus and sent back more atmospheric data. Venera 12 lasted 110 minutes (almost 2 hours), the longest of any of the Venera crafts, b4 the heat and pressure ended it's mission!

tangerineboii: 2 hours was the longest???

oikiwi: yep!

oikiwi: March, 1982, Venera 13 and Venera 14 landed on Venus! They studied soil and sent back images!!!

oikiwi: Venera 13 and 14 were the last Venera crafts to land in Venus.

Kazoo: the Soviet Union fell abt 9 years later, in 1991 bc, i actually don't know why. I didn't pay attention to that part of History class :/

tangerineboii: i thought you yelled at Noya and Tanaka for not paying attention in class 

Kazoo: i was still learning, i was just looking up different historical events

Kazoo: like the Bubonic Plague

Kazoo: not important

Kazoo: anyways, Venus is abt 67 million miles away from the sun!

oikiwi: 108 million kilometers 

Kazoo: Venus is also the only planet to spin backwards, with the sun rising in the west and setting in the east!!

Kazoo: Venus also has no moons or rings

oikiwi: the surface temp of Venus is abt 900°F / 465°C

oikiwi: Venus was named after the Roman goddess, Venus, the goddess of love and beauty!

Kazoo: in Greece, Venus was known as Aphrodite

tangerineboii: cool! 

Kazoo: Yeah! Venus is 0.7 AU away from the sun!

Kazoo: which is abt 67 million miles or 108 million km

oikiwi: it takes sunlight abt 6 min to reach Venus, and abt 8 min to reach earth!

Kazoo: Venus has the most circular orbit of any planet, almost a perfect circle!!!

Kazoo: Venus only a 3° tilt, so there are no noticable seasons there!

oikiwi: i must go, space friends, I promised my sister that I'd babysit my nephew, Takeru today!

tangerineboii: BYEEEEEE!!! COME BACKNSOON WITH MORE SPACE FACTS, OKAY!!!

oikiwi: i will, Chibi!

tangerineboii: :)

Kazoo: bye Oikawa! Nice talking to you!

oikiwi: bye Narita! ttyl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space is coooooool :)
> 
> Also, if you can, make sure you vote today!


	10. Crushes and Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HistoryMaker: my childhood crush was Larry the Cucumber
> 
> yurio: wtf
> 
> eros: wtf
> 
> MamaSugar: . . .
> 
> CaptainThighs: i-
> 
> perfection: concern
> 
> commoner: wtf
> 
> liberBRO: my childhood crush was Jesus

RussianBeauty: what if we all listed fictional characters and people say who they had a crush on???

lion: that sounds like fun!!

yurio: goodbye

MamaSugar: that does sound like fun. Let's get everybody online. 

CaptainThighs: i'll start.

MamaSugar: oh no

CaptainThighs: Brock (from Pokémon)

MamaSugar: i loved Brock

chickentendo: Brock was cute <3

perfection: there were people who didnt like Brock??? wtf

Tanaka: Misty was cute

bigsis: Misty was my first crush, and then Brock. 

MamaSugar: i had my entire wedding with Brock planned out.

oikiwi: wtf

iwa: dont act like you didnt do the same stuff, oikawa.

oikiwi: IWA-CHAN

plantboii: ?

yurio: my pokemon crushes were Jessie and James

MamaSugar: BITCH, YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FRIM JAMES

MamaSugar: HE IS MINE

CaptainThighs: what abt Brock

MamaSugar: i love Brock, but James was my first ever crush, and I still love him. 

MamaSugar: he's so sweet 

MamaSugar: and kind

MamaSugar: and he cares so much abt other pokemon 

MamaSugar: and he's so pretty

MamaSugar: i really love James <3

chickentendo: i loved Jessie bc we had almost matching hair. Red and hot pink :)

plantboii: wtf, Tendo

oikiwi: ok, but have you SEEN Seto Kaiba bc he had my heart from episode 1 of Yu-Gi-Oh

iwa: oh god, no. somebody change the subject

oikiwi: He really loved and cared abt his brother Mokuba

liberBRO: WHAT ABT TERRANCE FROM THE TINKERBELL MOVIES!?!?!?! HE WAS CUTE AF AND KIND

MaybeJesus: you watched the Tinker Bell movies?

liberBRO: yes. yes i did.

disaster™: WHAT ABT LORD MILORI FROM 'SECRET OF THE WINGS'

liberBRO: Saeko screeched when she saw him the first time, remember

bigsis: he's C u T e

chickentendo: Spencer from iCarly was amazing :)

MamaSugar: fuck yes he was

bbycrow: i loved Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time

goddess: Princess Bubblegum was amazing!!!

yamayama: Peter Parker was the best

yamayama: fight me

noodle: Tsukiyama Shuu

yamayama: . . .

MamaSugar: . . .

volleyboii: Kei. . .

chickentendo: how old were you when you watched Tokyo Ghoul?

noodle: i was 8, and i watched it in the middle of the night when mom and Akiteru were asleep.

volleyboii: wtf kei

CaptainThighDad: why tf would an 8 y/o watch TG??? 

MamaSugar: ITS RATED 18+

noodle: oops

MaybeJesus: Suga, you watched it when you were 12.

MamaSugar: 12 IS BETTER 8

kaashi: valid point

kaashi: but still

BROkuto: can i watch TG????

kaashi: no

BROkuto: why not :(

kaashi: you get scared easily

BROkuto: HABVE YOU EVER SEEN A GOAT

tangerineboii: ur scared of goats???

BROkuto: yes

perfection: wtf

glasses: Tamaki, you're scared of Horse Show Crabs. Leave Bokuto alone

perfection: HORSESHOE CRABS ARE TERRIFYING AND I STAND BY THAT STATEMENT

lion: what abt Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh. He was cute

RussianBeauty: asjdbdhvfg LEV NO

RussianBeauty: obv the cutest Yu-Gi-Oh character was Seto Kaiba

oikiwi: YES

HistoryMaker: Yuri!!! Who was your crush

eros: uhhhhhh. . .

yurio: 0.0

lion: :D

RussianBeauty: :)

HistoryMaker: yuuuuuuri

eros: you. i saw you skate and my crush started. . .

HistoryMaker: awwwwwwwww

yurio: *barf sounds*

RussianBeauty: be nice yurio

MamaSugar: I think thats sweet.

yurio: if Victor says yuri was his crush, I'll puke

HistoryMaker: hiw could Yuri have been my crush? I didn't know he existed until i saw that video of him online and decided to go to Japan to be his coach.

eros:. . .

yurio: lol

CaptainThighs: at least he's honest?

HistoryMaker: my childhood crush was Larry the Cucumber

yurio: wtf

eros: wtf

MamaSugar: . . .

CaptainThighs: i-

perfection: concern

commoner: wtf

liberBRO: my childhood crush was Jesus

glasses: are you religious???

liberBRO: not at all

liberBRO: but I thought I'd marry Jesus and cure the Christians of homophobia.

liberBRO: Homosexuality is not a sin if Jesus married a dude. 

disaster™: NOYA MY BRO, THATS GENUIS!!!

liberBRO: i KNOW rite???

noodle: *genius

noodle: *right

disaster™: shut up, salt

liberBRO: YEAH

Honey: Haru-chan, who was your crush?

commoner: Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh

Honey: awwwwwww

Mori: same

perfection: 0.0

Castor: 0.0

Pollux: 0.0

perfection: Kyoya, wbu

glasses: i spent my childhood under enormous pressure from my father bc I was never good enough for him and didnt have time to have a crush

perfection: :(

Castor: u ok???

Pollux: u wanna talk abt it

glasses: i'm never ok and i dont wanna talk abt it

Castor: ok

Pollux: understood

glasses: Hikaru, Kaoru, who were your crushes?

Castor: Mulan

Pollux: Princess Jasmine

commoner: u both liked disney princesses???

Castor: yep

Pollux: yeah

commoner: noice

kaashi: carlos from Magic School bus

BROkuto: same

pudding: me too

nerd™: Ms. Frizzle

tired: y r all of u obsessed with Magic School Bus???

nerd™: we 4 knew each othr as kids

nerd™: me and Akaashi like Magic School Bus

nerd™: Bokuto fell asleep watching it

nerd™: and kenma didnt care what was on

exhausted™: . . .

Kazoo: that explains a lot tbh

nerd™: i also had a crush on Barry (Bee Movie)

BROkuto: the Lorax and the Onceler

kaashi: kenma and i beat the crushes out of them

BROkuto: you BROKE MY ARM AND MY PENCIL AND MY FEELINGS

kaashi: and i'd do it again if it ever happens again

BROkuto: *fear*

pudding: the most exercise i ever did as a kid

nerd™: thats true

pudding: i'd also do it again, but for no reason.

nerd™: r00d

pudding: u deserve it

MamaSugar: i liked Prince Eric from Little Mermaid

kags: Flynn Rider (Tangled) was also cute

tangerineboii: ok but what abt Kida from Atlantis???

CaptainThighs: she was cute

yamayama: amen to that

bbycrow: hell yes

goddess: we stan her in this gc

MamaSugar: wait

MamaSugar: what's Atlantis??? I've never heard of it

tangerineboii: MAMA

yamayama: MOM

CaptainThighs: HO W D AR E YO U N OT K N OW

kags: a really underappreciated and not very well known movie from Disney. The official title is 'Atlantis: The Lost Empire'

MamaSugar: i'll find it and start watching it

kags: i own all the disney movies. after camp the team can come over and we can all watch it together!

MamaSugar: yay

CaptainThighs: as long as its not like Studio Ghibli Movie Sleepover, we'll be fine. 

MamaSugar: :)

MamaSugar: w hat co u l d p o ss i b ly g o w r on g ? ??

CaptainThighs: uh oh

exhausted™: i have a bad feeling abt this

tired: we'll be fine

Kazoo: everything is going 2 b ok

Kazoo: Kageyama, do your parents have insurance on the house

kags: yeah?

tired: good

exhausted™: they'll need it

kags: should i be worried???

MamaSugar: NoT aT aLL

kags: . . .

kags: ok

Kazoo: he believes Suga

exhausted™: poor boii

tired: rip to kags and his house

Kazoo: and probably all of us

MamaSugar: last time wasn't so bad

MaybeJesus: it was really bad last time, Suga

MamaSugar: ._.

CaptainThighs: they're right, Suga

MamaSugar: EVEN YOU???

MamaSugar: You betray me. I am Julius Caesar and you are Brutus with the Senators. You stab be 23 times in the back. I lay here dead on the floor as you go abt your lives. You have no regrets. Beware the Ides of March

CaptainThighs: it's December

Kazoo: introducing Suga to Shakespeare was a mistake. 

Kazoo: my apologies

CaptainThighs: all is forgiven.

MamaSugar: i trusted all of you


	11. Nishinoya Kinda Uses His Brain??? I'm Not Sure Either TBH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ear hurts so bad I can't open my jaw. It hurts to breathe, eat, drink, swallow, etc. Bc of Holidays and COVID i cant go to doctor until after New Years.

liberBRO: I've been thinking

noodle: thats never good

MamaSugar: Tsukki, be nice

Kazoo: but I mean-

tired: is he wrong tho?

liberBRO: NARITA!!! ENNOSHITA!!! I TRUSTED YOU

tired: that's your fault tbh

Kazoo: ^^^^

liberBRO: r 0 0 d

disaster™: what were you thinking abt Noya?

liberBRO: do u know the song 'Give You Up'????

MamaSugar: the Rick Roll song????

liberBRO: yes!!!

Kazoo: . . .what abt it?

tired: i feel like i'm going to regret not going offline.

perfection: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU U P

Pollux: NEVER GONNA

Castor: LET

Pollux: YOU

Castor: D O W N

disaster™: NEVER GONNA R U N AROUND AND D E S E R T YOU

BROkuto: NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU C R Y

nerd™: NEVER GONNA SAY G O O D B Y E

oikiwi: NEVER GONNA TELL A L I E AND H U R T YOU

MamaSugar: cant believe we're bonding thro rick rolls

liberBRO: not the weirdest thing to happen. 

MamaSugar: tru

MamaSugar: so, what were u thinking abt???

liberBRO: say this girl wants the Pixar movie "Up"

liberBRO: "Never gonna give you U P"

liberBRO: but then he says "Never gonna let you D O W N"

liberBRO: but by not giving her "Up" he is, indeed, letting her down

disaster™: 0.0

perfection: holy-

Castor: you're on to something there

Pollux: how did you discover this???

Kazoo: wtf

tired: r u ok???

noodle: you're an idiot

liberBRO: and that's news to you bc?????

MamaSugar: but he's not wrong. 

CaptainThighs: Suga. . .

MamaSugar: :)

oikiwi: i told that 2 the team and iwa-chan slapped me and started yelling at me :(

tired: how much sleep have you had???

liberBRO: not enough, my dude

pudding: people sleep??

nerd™: kenma, how much sleeo have you had????

pudding: 8 hours

nerd™: in a night????

pudding: in the past month

nerd™: KENMA!!!! NAP TIME NOW

lion: i like nap time

smol: not you, Lev. go practice your recieves

noodle: *receives

smol: what??? i thought it was "I" before "E"???

yamayama: "i" before "e", except after "c" or sounding like "ay", as in "neighbor" or "weigh"

smol: thanks Yamaguchi :)

yamayama: no prob :)

bbycrow: i found a joke!!!

yamayama: Yachi!!! Pls share!!

MamaSugar: i like jokes :)

nerd™: jokes!

bbycrow: i forgot how to write 1-1,000-51-6-500 in Roman Numerals

bbycrow: I-M-LI-VI-D

yamayama: thats genius

noodle: nice joke 

kags: i don't get it

noodle: nobody say anything about it

yamayama: :)

pudding: Kuroo has been hyena laughing at that for the past few minutes.

kaashi: it's getting annoying tbh

BROkuto: ????

glasses: lol

Pollux: holy shit

Castor: kyoya just said lol

perfection: the world is going to end 0.0

//////////

MamaSugar: guess what i discovered i can do???

CaptainThighs: oh god

tangerineboii: what????

MamaSugar: i can mimic car alarms :)

CaptainThighs: oh no

Castor: how do you do it???

Pollux: i am very interested in learning

perection: u 2 dont need 2 learn

yurio: can i learn??? I want to annoy Yakov :)

MamaSugar: lessons, tomorrow @ lunch :)

yurio: i'll b there

HistoryMaker: me 2!!!

Castor: me 3

Pollux: me 4

tangerineboii: me 5

oikiwi: can you add in a video chat lesson????

MamaSugar: ofc

oikiwi: i'll be there

liberBRO: me 7

disaster™: me 8

lion: i want to learn!!!!

bigsis: i'll be there

volleyboii: i'll be online for that!

chickentendo: pls teach me your wisdom

BROkuto: I WANNA MIMIC CARS!!!!!

nerd™: i'll bring Bokuto

Inu: i'll learn as well!!!!

MamaSugar: so, 2 online and 15 in person!!! See you all tmrw for lessons!!!!

tired: why is the fire alarm going off???

kags: is it Hinata??? He can mimic fire alarms

tired: its not Hinata. he's sitting beside me and he's terrified

glasses: where is Nekozawa????

belzeneff: were you aware that aluminum foil is a fire hazard???

belzeneff: bc i was not

glasses: . . .

MamaSugar: what were u doing????

belzeneff: i thought foil might help channel some black magic. A piece fell into a candle.

CaptainThighs: everybody, get offline and evacuate the school. The fire alarms would have alerted the fire dept.

MamaSugar: who has Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Yachi???

pudding: he's not with group 2

kaashi: or group 3

CaptainThighs: how many groups are we split into??? 

kaashi: 4 i think

commoner: no, 3. the Host Club and Skaters joined group 2

RussianBeauty: where's Lev???

HistoryMaker: and Yuri???

yurio: with group 3

HistoryMaker: other Yuri???

MamaSugar: not here, neither is Lev

RussianBeauty: omg

glasses: i did a head count at the door, everybody evacuated. they aren't inside.

MamaSugar: where are they then???

kags: i'll txt Hinata

//////////

kags: where r u???? we cant find you, yamaguchi, yachi, lev, or yuri???

tangerineboii: idk

kags: that is the least helpful thing you could have said. do you know where the others are???

tangerineboii: i'm with them! I've got Yachi, Yama, Lev, and Yuri!

kags: do they know where you are???

tangerineboii: idk. i'll add them to the chat.

bbycrow: Yachi here. I'm safe.

lion: I'm Lev and I'm safe as well

yamayama: not injured

eros: i'm yuri. currently watching 2 hyperactive children and 2 with anxiety levels that are abt as high as mine.

eros: i dont think I'm injured. 

kags: where r u guys???

eros: at a park. idk where specifically, but Hinata and Lev are running around. Yamaguchi and Yachi are sitting on swings. I'm on a bench. 

kags: i'll tell the others.

kags: Alisa, Inuoka, Kuroo, Kiyoko, and Tsukishima are coming to get you. Don't leave the park.

eros: ok

//////////

Alisa crushed Lev in a hug before she decided to start yelling at him for making her and the others worry. Tsukishima was interrogating Yamaguchi about what had happened. Inuoka was chatting with Hinata and Kuroo was talking to Yuri about what happened. 

The hard part was getting Lev, Inuoka, and Hinata calm enough to stand still so everybody could walk back. Those three had way too much energy and a negative braincell count when they were together. 

About fifteen minutes later they all arrived at the school, where Hinata started spouting off facts about fire trucks to Lev and anyone who would listen. They were all engulfed in hugs. Suga and Daichi were discussing the pros ans cons of buying children's leashes for everybody. Victor was crying and wouldn't stop hugging Yuri. Yurio took pictures and a video of it for black mail. 

All would (hopefully) be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suga really needs to get children's leashes for these kids bc they keep getting lost.
> 
> This chapter is shorter than most in here, but I wanted to update and ran out of ideas, so here it is!


	12. Christmas Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk if they celebrate Christmas, but my fam does and I wanted them to get weird gifts :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh this is a crack chapter that i wrote (in 20 min) bc i wanted to update as a holiday gift, so lots of characters aren't mentioned and it's really chaotic. Enjoy.

MamaSugar: MERRY CHRISTMAS

CaptainThighs: SUGA IT'S 2AM WTF

MamaSugar: P R E S E N T S

CaptainThighs: i want to sleep

MamaSugar: :(

CaptainThighs: . . .

MamaSugar: :'(

CaptainThighs: fine. Present time

glasses: why are you awake at 2 am????

MamaSugar: P R E S E N T S

glasses: M U R D E R

CaptainThighs: pls dont kill Suga

glasses: no promises

glasses: let me sleep

CaptainThighs: enjoy your sleep. 

//////////

tangerineboii: SANTA BROUGHT PRESENTS!!!

noodle: wait, you don't know?

tangerineboii: know what???? 

MamaSugar: TSUKISHIMA KEI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EVEN BREATHE ONE WORD OF IT I WILL MURDER YOU

noodle: jokes on you, i wanna die

MamaSugar: u wanna tlk abt it?

noodle: nah, i'll repress it for a little bit longer

MamaSugar: valid response. talk to me when you're ready

tangerineboii: WHAT WEIRD THINGS DID SANTA BRING TO YOU GUYS?????

chickentendo: i got tape

tangerineboii: ?????

tangerineboii: tape???? What kind of tape????

chickentendo: scotch tape

tangerineboii: cool?????

tangerineboii: i think??????

oikiwi: i got a toilet

MamaSugar: i'm sorry, WHAT??????

oikiwi: like somebody got an entire toilet from a hardware store and it was given to me

CaptainThighs: like a prank????

oikiwi: i dont think so. Nobody knew who it came from.

tangerineboii: did you need to replace your toilet ir something?????

oikiwi: no

iwa: even Santa thinks you're a piece of shit, crappykawa

oikiwi: I W A - C H A N

oikiwi: R 0 0 D

iwa: i only speak the truth

plantboii: i received a Mickey Mouse neck pillow / Mickey Mouse blanket set

chickentendo: . . .

plantboii: these will be helpful on long car/bus rides and road trips. 

chickentendo: . . .

HistoryMaker: i got 208 eggs

eros: he did

yurio: can confirm.

RussianBeauty: Victor made all of us help him count them out

lion: they wrapped in aluminum foil.

MamaSugar: thats a lot

plantboii: that is a lot of eggs. if you need to get rid of a few I could always use extra eggs to bake and cook with

eros: how many do you want? 

plantboii: 18 eggs should be enough at the moment

eros: i'll bring them to you. thank you for taking some

plantboii: thank you for sharing and bringing them 

yurio: n e ways, i got 2 packs of 18 jumbo 'Frozen/Frozen II' coloring sheets.

HistoryMaker: I N TO TH E U N KN O W N

RussianBeauty: i got a pikachu

MamaSugar: that's the least weirdest thing on this chat so far

RussianBeauty: it was hand-made. 12 feet tall. Random buttons in it. Each button contains an insult or relatable quote or a pun from Indigo League.

RussianBeauty: i found a button on his tail. "A power failure? I relate to failure."

RussianBeauty: another button said "She thinks she's pretty? I agree. Pretty pathetic."

RussianBeauty: i've been climbing on pikachu all day. I've found 30 buttons. The note that came with it said there was 400+ buttons.

lion: it's really funny

RussianBeauty: don't laugh at my 12 ft tall pikachu. 

HistoryMaker: Lev, why are you laughing at your sister's gift? You got a tuna sandwich.

HistoryMaker: lol

RussianBeauty: lol

yurio: that was funny, Lev

MamaSugar: he got what???

lion: I DON'T EVEN LIKE TUNA

lion: AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET 364 CONTAINERS OF HELIUM

yurio: do you know how much I can annoy Yakov with that :)

eros: YURIO NO

yurio: YURIO YES

HistoryMaker: record the encounter!

RussianBeauty: send it to us!!!

lion: pls dont die

yurio: :)

noodle: i got a sweatshirt that says "Happy"

tangerineboii: does it have Happy from Snow White???

noodle: no. It's light grey. In black letters across the chest, it says "Happy"

MamaSugar: ummmmm

yamayama: i got a giant pink raccoon.

yamayama: not as tall as Alisa's Pikachu, but taller than Hinata and Noya

MamaSugar: A PINK TRASH PANDA!!!!!

CaptainThighs: call them raccoons like everybody else

tangerineboii: trash pandas are cute <3

MamaSugar: i would like a trash panda

tangerineboii: me 2

CaptainThighs: somebody pls give me patience


	13. Hinata Uses Tsuki's Full Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> liberBRO: do you ever think abt how everything is an illusion
> 
> disaster: u ok there, Noya?
> 
> noodle: please explain
> 
> liberBRO: before we are born we are in a state of nothing and after we die we go back to nothing, which means that everything we do in life is an illusion made by our surroundings.
> 
> noodle: what the-
> 
> disaster: noya, getting kinda worried abt u
> 
> liberBRO: anyways, what's for lunch???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a convo between me and a friend :)

chickentendo: i accidentally almost burned my face off

tangerineboii: R U OK??????

plantboii: do you require medical attention? 

plantboii: where are you?

plantboii: how did this happen?

chickentendo: accidentally

plantboii: . . .

chickentendo: :)

tangerineboii: r u hurt :(

chickentendo: i am unharmed

plantboii: how did you accidentally almost burn off your face?

chickentendo: i went to pick up a pen that fell, and the candle flame got my hair, which wasn't styled at the time and hanging above my eyes. i got it out before it could catch on fire.

liberBRO: big oof right there

liberBRO: n e ways

liberBRO: do you ever think abt how everything is an illusion

disaster: u ok there, Noya?

noodle: please explain

liberBRO: before we are born we are in a state of nothing and after we die we go back to nothing, which means that everything we do in life is an illusion made by our surroundings.

noodle: what the-

disaster: noya, getting kinda worried abt u

liberBRO: anyways, what's for lunch???

noodle: how do you cope with being in an existential crisis all the time and then acting like nothing matters???

liberBRO: i dont

noodle: understandable

disaster: so, what have you guys been doing????

chickentendo: almost caught on fire

plantboii: buying succulents

chickentendo: living up to the username, i see

plantboii: ???

chickentendo: just ignore my commentary

plantboii: ok???

liberBRO: existential crisis

noodle: existential crisis

tangerineboii: i played baseball with a spider

chickentendo: i-

noodle: what?

liberBRO: noice

disaster: can we get context bc i have questions

tangerineboii: u know how i live in the mountains with Mama and Natsu?

disaster: yeee

liberBRO: yep

chickentendo: i'm aware now

plantboii: yes.

noodle: yeah

tangerineboii: well, Mama was at the store and I was watching Natsu 

tangerineboii: we went outside 2 toss the volleyball, and when we went to go inside and get a drink, there was a huge spider in between the big wooden door and the storm door. 

tangerineboii: it was larger than Natsu's face. It was hidden really well, and Natsu didn't see it, but I saw it and grabbed her before she got 2 close.

tangerineboii: i grabbed the outside broom, climbed in through a window, and then swung the broom and the spider w ent flying.

tangerineboii: i grabbed Natsu, and we stayed in, bc what if the spider comes back and he's angry. 

noodle: is Natsu ok????

tangerineboii: Natsu is good. She's really scared and keeps shaking, but she's safe. She's burying herself under the large stuffed animals.

noodle: are you sure the spider didn't bite her?

tangerineboii: yep! i made sure

tangerineboii: i messaged mom to let her know as well. She'll b back in abt an hour with the groceries. 

noodle: good. 

chickentendo: r u safe???

tangerineboii: i am safe!

plantboii: if you need help with spider, don't hesitate to message me. i can help :)

tangerineboii: THANKS USHIJIMA!!!!

plantboii: no problem

noodle: what happened to Noya and Tanaka?

disaster: Noya's having an existential crisis and i'm trying to help but idk what 2 do 

noodle: just turn on some music, very quietly, and let him be.

disaster: he's currently laying face down on the stairs???

noodle: is anybody going to go down the stairs???

disaster: yes

noodle: move him somewhere he can lay face down at without the possibility of death. 

disaster: ok.

noodle: existential crises can last a while, so keep snacks and drinks on standby for him. 

disaster: i've never seen Noya this still and it's weird tbh

noodle: having the crushing weight of the universe in your head isnt easy to deal with

disaster: i-

noodle: dont worry. he'll be back to normal soon-ish.

noodle: hopefully.

disaster: . . .

disaster: what?

tangerineboii: . . .

liberBRO: how can anything be birthday cake flavored if birthday cakes can taste like a n y t h i n g

tangerineboii: r u ok???

disaster: holy fuck

plantboii: would you like a cactus to contemplate the universe and the meaning of life with?

liberBRO: yes

chickentendo: but is he wrong???? 

chickentendo: i dont think so

noodle: agreed

disaster: we all probably need help

chickentendo: probably

chickentendo: how's your crisis going btw???

liberBRO: lots of dread but not enough 2 become a Renaissance Painter, u know. 

noodle: thats a full mood

chickentendo: agreed

tangerineboii: do you guys want a hug?

disaster: yes

liberBRO: the feeling of affection and happiness achieved from the hug is fleeting and is therefore useless.

noodle: relatable

tangerineboii: what?

liberBRO: id love a hug

chickentendo: yessssssssss

noodle: no

plantboii: yes, please

tangerineboii: HUGS 4 EVRY 1!!!

noodle: but i said no

tangerineboii: well, your text can't stop me because i wont read it.

tangerineboii: you will receive the hug, Tsukishima Kei

noodle: why'd you use my full name???

tangerineboii: made me feel powerful

noodle: no

tangerineboii: only if you get hug

noodle: . . .

noodle: fine

tangerineboii: :D

noodle: :|

plantboii: i have a cactus for you, Nishinoya

disaster: i'll come get it. he wont move off the top shelf in the kitchen cabinets

chickentendo: y is he there???

disaster: idk. he was on the table and then he was in the cabinet

chickentendo: mood

tangerineboii: is Noya safe in the cabinet???

disaster: yes?

tangerineboii: y is that a question?

disaster: y not?

tangerineboii: thatd b a valid point if it wasnt also a question

disaster: :/

chickentendo: this is very entertaining ngl

plantboii: are you okay Tendo?

chickentendo: never

noodle: is anyone ever okay???

tangerineboii: I AM!!!

noodle: you're an outlier and shouldn't be counted

tangerineboii: how am i an outlier??

noodle: you wake up at 4 am every day and go to bed at at least 1 am but your energy levels are always high

noodle: your obsession with vb is weird

noodle: your ability to make friends with everyone is super weird

noodle: you trust everything

noodle: you always seem happy and ready to help others but you don't like accepting help bc you think you dont deserve it

noodle: you know abt almost everyone's life outside school/vb, but you dont talk abt yours besides occasionally mentioning your mom and Natsu, and that you live in the mountains

tangerineboii: . . .

tangerineboii: idk how that makes me an outlier, but ok!!!!

noodle: . . .


	14. Send Yuuri Some Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio + Suga + Noya + Existential Crises + Sleep Deprivation = Poor Yuuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noya's not in a great place mentally, and the angst for that starts this chapter. He'll talk abt feeling useless and unwanted and about wanting to commit suicide. If that's triggering please skip the part under the Daichi + Asahi + Victor chat.
> 
> The National Suicide Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> or text HOME to 741-741
> 
> If you are LGBTQ+ check out the Trevor Project at trevorproject.org for all the info regarding how they can help.

MamaSugar: yeah, u can call me woke

MamaSugar: n fact, i havnt slept in days

yurio: a mood

eros: you guys need sleep

liberBRO: the past tense of sleep is sloop

eros: . . .

eros: what?

MamaSugar: yes

eros: are u on drugs???

yurio: drugs?

MamaSugar: no. the only line i'm interested in. . .

liberBRO: is the line to heaven. amen

yurio: amen

MamaSugar: amen

eros: wtf is going on

eros: r u guys doing cocaine or smth???

MamaSugar: if god didnt want us to snort worms

MamaSugar: why did he make them lines????

eros: what

yurio: oh worm

liberBRO: HE PUT THEM ON STRINGS

MamaSugar: OH SHIT U RITE

yurio: harvard wants ur location

liberBRO: if worm is off the string

liberBRO: wut crimes will he commit

MamaSugar: war crimes

yurio: O H W O R M

MamaSugar: fear nit

liberBRO: jesus will wash away his sins and crimes

yurio: jesus commit war crimes and arson

liberBRO: yes

MamaSugar: ur rite n u should say it

eros: what

yurio: woerm eats the rich

liberBRO: oh worm

MamaSugar: he ate the govrnmnt

yurio: good 4 him

liberBRO: r u assuming woerms gender???

MamaSugar: no. he told me

liberBRO: g o o d

liberBRO: or id have 2 send teethpaste mon after u

MamaSugar: no

MamaSugar: not the teethpaste mon

liberBRO: yes

yurio: who is teethpaste mon

liberBRO: cronch

MamaSugar: tax fraud

MamaSugar: war crimes

yurio: oh woerm

eros: someone please help

MamaSugar: tax fraud frogs will helo

eros: what?????

yurio: wish i coukd affrd tax fraud frogs

liberBRO: same

eros: some one please tell me what is happening??? 

yurio: we need to e x i s t

liberBRO: all these red lights n u still wint stop

MamaSugar: mood

yurio: the temporary marker is temporary, like life and cheese

MamaSugar: u r rite n u should say it

liberBRO: smort 

yurio: thank

liberBRO: welc

MamaSugar: O SHIT

MamaSugar: I FORGOT TO WATER THE BAGUETTES

eros: WHAT????????

liberBRO: they're coming 4 u

yurio: rip

MamaSugar: i'd like 2 thank my mom n dad 4 this opportunity. as well as all my friends fir supporting me

eros: this??? isn't???? an???? awards???? show????

MamaSugar: thats wut they want u 2 think

yurio: ^ me and the boys cracking open a cold one at 2 am looking for the beans

liberBRO: same

eros: someone pls help

MamaSugar: its 2 am

liberBRO: nobody is awake rn

eros: we're awake rn

liberBRO: holy shit u rite

yurio: 0.0

eros: you all are giving me a headache. 

MamaSugar: do u want an ibuprofen? 

eros: no thanks. I have some.

MamaSugar: ok. u need any, let me know. 

MamaSugar: i got u

eros: ummmmm. . .

eros: thanks

eros: i think?

MamaSugar: welc

eros: im going back to sleep

MamaSugar: gn!!!

eros: night. please go to bed

yurio: i am

MamaSugar: noya just fell asleep. night every one!!

yurio: gn

//////////

CaptainThighs: wtf happened last night??

MaybeJesus: uuuuhhhhhh

MaybeJesus: why does jesus commit war crimes and arson?????

HistoryMaker: what is a worm on a string??? 

MaybeJesus: i'll show u mine later. 

HistoryMaker: THANKS!!!!

MaybeJesus: of course

CaptainThighs: ok but why were they awake at 2 am???? 

MaybeJesus: idk. i'll talk to noya. he needs to take care of himself.

CaptainThighs: i'll b talking to suga. He's chaotic enough without being sleep deprived as well. 

CaptainThighs: today will be interesting.

MaybeJesus: oh god, youre right

CaptainThighs: hopefully suga wont burn anything

MaybeJesus: oh yeah, that did happen last time

CaptainThighs: idk how he did it, but he cause a mass evacuation from school and an evacuation of the 3 block radius around the school

MaybeJesus: Suga baffles me everyday

HistoryMaker: what happened???

MaybeJesus: nobody knows the full story, but what we do know is:

CaptainThighs: 1. it was suga's fault 100%

MaybeJesus: 2. He discovered a gas leak that caused the evacuation of the school + the 3 block radius around it

CaptainThighs: he accidentally started a fire in his english class.

HistoryMaker: do you have any details????

CaptainThighs: nope

MaybeJesus: none

HistoryMaker: wow

MaybeJesus: Noya's waking up. I'm gonna go talk to him abt taking care of himself. 

CaptainThighs: good luck!

HistoryMaker: Bye Bye!!!! 

MaybeJesus: bye!

//////////

It was just after dinner when Asahi was able to talk with Noya alone. They made their way down the streets to the park. 

"What'd you want to talk with me about, Asahi? Is everything okay?" Nishinoya sounded weird and his smile looked strange, but Asahi couldn't figure out why, so he continued walking and looking at the ground.

Noya's smile fell. "Hey, whats wrong?"

"You haven't been taking care of yourself, Noya. You stay up until 2 or 3 AM and wake up at 6 with all of us. You're slowly giving away most your food at meal times and you always look sad when you think no one's looking. I'm worried about you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm doing just fine!" His smile still wasn't quite right. 

"You always talk about death and dying." Asahi's voice was shaky now. "You've stopped looking before crossing the road. You stopped asking for help. You've distanced yourself from everyone. I'm worried and scared for you, Nishinoya. I want to know what's wrong."

Noya smiled that weird smile again. "You're looking too deep into things Asahi, everything is fine!"

"No it's not, Noya."

"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CARE!" 

Noya's sudden outburst scared Asahi. A few tears slipped from his eyes. 

"Noya, what-"

"NOBODY CARES! IT'S ALL A GIANT ACT! I'M USELESS AND STUPID AND UNWANTED AND EVERYONE WOULD BE FINE WITHOUT ME AROUND! SO STOP TALKING LIKE YOU CARE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! NOBODY DOES! IT'S ALWAYS AN ACT!"

Noya had tears streaming down his face. Asahi's eyes were wide.

"Noya?" 

"Stop it! You don't care at all! Stop acting and talking like that!" The smaller boy was curled in a ball, his shoulders shaking as his words stabbed Asahi through the heart.

"Noya, what are you-" Asahi's voice cracked and tears were flowing down his face.

"It's always going to be like this. Stop acting like you're concerned and care." His voice was small and filled with sobs, but felt so genuine. It broke Asahi to hear Noya talking like this and know that he believed it.

"I am concerned because I care. Let me help you." He crouched down by Noya's curled up body and held out a hand to the shaking libero. 

Noya slapped away his hand. "STOP LYING! WHY WOULD YOU CARE ABOUT ME?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" 

The words slipped from Asahi's mouth before he processed what he'd said. He slapped a hand across his mouth. 

Noya looked up from his curled body, eyes wide and still crying. He stood up and faced Asahi. 

"If you really loved me you'd let me kill myself."

Asahi and Noya froze.

"Please don't kill yourself." 

"I want to."

"If you talk like this I'll tell Suga and Daichi and Coach and Sensei and we'll all watch out for you-"

"Don't tell anybody."

"Noya, I can't keep this a secret. You're safety and life are in danger!"

"If you tell them, I'll kill myself before they can come to me. You don't really care, none of you. It's so hard and exhausting being alive and I want to disappear from all of it."

"But-"

"Don't tell anyone." Noya's eyes were hard and his voice was cold. 

Asahi slowly nodded. "I won't tell."

Noya nodded back. "Good."

When they arrived back at Nekoma, Noya moved his mat as far away from Asahi as he could. Nobody mentioned it, but they could feel the tension between the two boys. 

Asahi felt helpless. He knew that he shouldn't keep what Noya said a secret. He knew he needed to tell someone. Asahi didn't want to break Nishinoya's trust. He also didn't want to know how serious Nishinoya had been about going through with it if he told.

So he lay awake until the sun rose, feeling dread and helplessness as the team started getting ready for the day ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If someone tells you to keep a secret regarding them wanting to hurt themselves or others, you need to find a trusted adult to talk too, bc that's not safe.
> 
> The National Suicide Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> or text HOME to 741-741
> 
> If you are LGBTQ+ check out the Trevor Project at trevorproject.org for all the info regarding how they can help.

**Author's Note:**

> What if clouds evaporated dead bodies from the ocean and rained them back down on land?
> 
> you can send story ideas and stuff to my Tumblr roy-writes!


End file.
